Are You Depressed?

According to the Surgeon General, depression is the number three health problem in America. Yet many of us simply don't realize or admit that we are depressed.

Depression may be described as feeling sad, blue, unhappy, miserable, or down in the dumps. Most of us feel this way at one time or another for short periods.

More than just a bout of the blues, depression isn't a weakness, nor is it something that you can simply "snap out" of. Dr. Richard Carlson says, “You can't think yourself out of depression.”

Depression is usually treated with antidepressant medications and short-term, goal-oriented psychotherapy.

Not only are women more prone to depression than men, but the causes of female depression and even the pattern of symptoms are often different.

Men also suffer from depression but are often less willing to admit it and seek help because they consider depression a “female” disease.

Teens may show their pervasive sadness by wearing black clothes, writing poetry with morbid themes, or having a preoccupation with music that has nihilistic themes. They may cry for no apparent reason. Children and teens that cause trouble at home or at school may actually be depressed but not know it. Because the child may not always seem sad, parents and teachers may not realize that the behavior problem is a sign of depression.

Some depression is based on chemical imbalances in our bodies and this depression can be treated medically.

Another and perhaps more common form of depression involves the numbing of emotions, especially grief, fear, anger and shame. Depression occurs when these emotions loop back on themselves, having bad feelings about bad feelings, sometimes without limit.

When we dwell on painful experiences again and again, the “looping-back” effect takes place again and again.

Finding Personal Peace shows us how to avoid the looping effect; how to break the cycle of negative thinking building on previous negative thinking.

This can be the ideal solution for people who hate taking medications and for people, particularly men, who don't want to admit depression, but nevertheless experience the symptoms of negative emotions.

Hope this helps!



P.S. Find out about relieving depression by clicking here.

Victims of Abuse

Abuse is approaching epidemic proportions today. We'll mention three common forms of abuse: domestic abuse; child sexual abuse; and bullying. There are others but space is limited.

Domestic violence and emotional abuse are behaviors used by one person in a relationship to control the other. Partners may be married or not married; heterosexual, gay, or lesbian; living together, separated or dating.

Examples of abuse include:

• name-calling or put downs


• keeping a partner from contacting their family or friends


• withholding money


• stopping a partner from getting or keeping a job


• actual or threatened physical harm


• sexual assault


• stalking


• intimidation

Violence can be criminal and includes physical assault (hitting, pushing, shoving, etc.), sexual abuse (unwanted or forced sexual activity), and stalking. Although emotional, psychological and financial abuse are not criminal behaviors, they are forms of abuse and can lead to criminal violence.

Child sexual abuse is a form of child abuse in which a child is abused for the sexual gratification of an adult or older adolescent. In addition to direct sexual contact, child sexual abuse also occurs when an adult indecently exposes their genitalia to a child, asks or pressures a child to engage in sexual activities, displays pornography to a child, or uses a child to produce child pornography.

Effects of child sexual abuse include guilt and self-blame, flashbacks, nightmares, insomnia, fear of things associated with the abuse (including objects, smells, places, doctor's visits, etc.), self-esteem issues, sexual dysfunction, chronic pain, addiction, self-injury, suicidal ideation, somatic complaints, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, other mental illnesses (including borderline personality disorder) propensity to re-victimization in adulthood, and physical injury to the child, among other problems. Victims of child sex abuse are over six times more likely to attempt suicide and eight times more likely to repeatedly attempt suicide. The abusers are also more likely to commit suicide. Much of the harm caused to victims becomes apparent years after the abuse happens.

Sexual abuse by a family member is a form of incest, and results in more serious and long-term psychological trauma, especially in the case of parental incest.

Bullying is a form of abuse. It involves repeated acts over time attempting to create or enforce one person's (or group's) power over another person (or group), thus an "imbalance of power". The "imbalance of power" may be social power and/or physical power. The victim of bullying is sometimes referred to as a target. Bullying types of behavior are often rooted in a would-be bully's inability to empathize with those whom he or she would target.

In all cases of ongoing abuse of any form, the primary objective is to get help. We've compiled a listing of resources available by telephone or on-line that victims can use. These resources are respect your privacy and are equipped and trained to guide the victim to safety. Click here to see the list of resources.

The context of our mission is to provide relief for people who are suffering from abuse from the past. Prior abuse exists primarily in the memories of the victims. Yet when the victim replays those memory, which is often done, it can be as traumatic as experiencing the abuse again.

But it's not happening again. The pain is a response to the thought about the abuse. Any form of pain that results from a thought can be alleviated greatly if one knows what to do about the thought.

That's what Finding Personal Peace is good at doing – helping one learn how to deal with negative thoughts before the pain is re-created and very often enhanced.

If you're a victim of abuse or you know a victim of abuse, consider Finding Personal Peace as a viable tool. We WILL NOT MAKE YOU RELIVE THE PAIN!!!

God bless,



P.S. Click here for more information about Finding Personal Peace.

Which Word Best Describes You?

I’m going to define several words and ask you which one best describes you, okay?

Angry – Are you carrying a chip around on your shoulder just waiting for somebody to come by and knock it off? That was my life for more years than I like to think. The slightest offense causes anything from a slow burn to boiling over onto everybody within range.

Depressed – Life isn’t pleasant. Everything’s painted in gray tones. Most things don’t turn out well. People always disappoint you. You always disappoint yourself. The glass is always empty. Do you deny yourself any form of success?

Addicted – Are you dependant on something? Are you addicted to mask some internal pain? I had two addictions – food and work. Actually, a third: I was addicted to approval. If you want to see a partial list of addictions to see if any fit you, click here.

Stressed – Are you burning the candle from both ends? Do your relationships fail because your stress always gets in the way? Does the heartburn come and stay?

Afraid – Does personal contact make you shrink back? Does the thought of going to a party leave you in a cold sweat? Do you skip out on job interviews because you’re afraid of the questions they might ask?

Confused – Do all the thoughts spinning through your mind make you uncertain, unable to make a decision? Which way do you go? Maybe that’s the wrong way? Do you second-guess yourself so much that nothing makes sense anymore?

Envious – Are you resentful that others have more than you. Are you frustrated that your achievements just don’t quite measure up? Do you spend lots of time wishing life could be like so-and-so’s life?

Happy – Insults and offenses roll off your back like water off a duck’s back. Failure happens; you shrug it off and keep going. Your lifestyle is satisfying. Relationships are thriving. Life is good; really, really good.

So which word best describes you. Maybe none of them do. Grab some paper and write down the colors that paint your portrait.

Life doesn’t have to be the way it is if you selected mostly dark, sad colors.

Think through the circle of people who are close to you. Which words, which colors, would best describe them?

If there were a way for you to find peace, lasting personal peace, would you want to learn more about it?

If you could offer a way for someone you love to find lasting personal peace, would you be willing to tell them about it?

There is a way that might be the answer for all of you. To take a look, click here.

God bless,

You’re holding a key . . .

That’s right! You’re holding a key that could be very important to somebody you know. You’re reading this post and learning about an idea where someone can find the personal peace that they want very much.

What am I talking about? Peace is an elusive concept for so many people. They hurt for all kinds of reasons – secret reasons in many cases – and they don’t know what to do to find relief or peace. They stew in anger, fear, insecurity, depression, anxiety, you name it. They stew and they hurt and they don’t know that a possible solution is as close as a phone call or email from you.

Maybe you don’t like to intrude. After all, your friend never confided in you about their pain. Wouldn’t it be insensitive for you to bring it up? Our culture is so closed and so self-protective. Unless someone specifically asks you to help them, you just can’t get involved, can you?

Maybe you’re reluctant to risk being wrong. After all, this might be the wrong answer for them. Then you would be the irresponsible person that steered them wrong. You don’t want that to happen, do you?

So how could you give them the key without intruding and with minimum risk to your self-esteem?

You could visit the blog yourself and read the posts about Finding Personal Peace. You could actually visit the Finding Personal Peace website and check it out for yourself. Information reduces the risk of being wrong.

Then maybe you could say something like, “It’s none of my business, but you’ve seemed to be a little stressed lately. I visited a website that talked about dealing with stress in a different way. Can I give you the website address?”

So there, you’ve done it. They can decide for themselves if there’s anything there for them.

Or, you could just forget about the key and let them continue to hurt in privacy. What’s it going to be?

I hope you decide to help use the key to help someone you love!

God bless



P S. The key is one the link at the top of the website when you click here.

RSS for Peace

In the Internet world, as you may know, RSS stands for Real Simple Syndication. It is a clever and easy way that you can keep up with all the postings of any website you like without having to visit the site frequently to see what’s new. You can set up a Google Reader account and very easily attach an RSS feed from the website to your Google Reader. Then you go to the reader whenever you like and find out all the new postings on your favorite pages.

We’re changing that definition just a tiny bit. In our case, RSS means Real Simple Solution. It means that anyone who wants peace can find it without investing a lot of money or a lot of pain in finding it.

A popular trend in professional circles has you “working through” the painful events that are causing you to have anger, depression, anxiety, or whatever today. “Working through” means revisiting the pain and dealing with it with hours and hours of the professional’s help.

Dr. Richard Carlson, the author of “Stop Thinking, Start Living” argues persuasively that thinking about pain does not cause it to go away. He says that “negative emotions grow with attention.” He also says that “you can’t think yourself out of depression.”

So one choice is to pay someone a lot of money to assist you in augmenting your pain under the pretense of making it go away.

Another option is to accept medications designed to help you deal with (read mask) your pain.

Actually, most people, in view of the obvious lack of attraction of the prior two choices, just struggle along pretending life is normal as it is.

That’s a shame because the RSS for Peace is so simple that most people can’t accept that it works. The basic principle is that you have the authority to decide what you want to think about; and you can choose not to dwell on thoughts that cause negative emotions and cause you pain.

By the end of the first online session in Finding Personal Peace, you’ll know all you need to know to begin to experience peace. The remaining sessions give you the repetitions you need to make new habits; and give you reasons for believing in what you’re doing.

If you want a Real Simple Solution for peace, click here to learn more.

God bless,

Would You Rather Be Depressed?

It's an unusual question, but one that needs to be asked. Do you really want to feel better or are you secretly enjoying the empowerment that negative emotions can give you.

Empowerment? Exactly what am I talking about?

You have an excuse for entering and ending all kinds of personal relationships. They don't usually last long because your depression gets in the way.

You have an excuse for going from job to job looking for one that is fulfilling.

You have a reason for being irresponsible regarding finances.

You have a reason for messing around with things that are dangerous because you're looking for relief for your depression.

You can skip out on major decisions because nothing feels right.

Lots of people sympathize with you because “you're not well.”

You can even avoid seeking help because it’s probably not going to work anyway.

Am I being too harsh? If you take it that way, I apologize.

My motive is to shake you up a little bit. You see, I’ve observed depression at a pretty close distance for a number of years. I'm not a professional; I just know what appears to be a fairly simple conclusion: some people enjoy being depressed because there's no responsibility involved as I've described it.

So why change if you like it? Maybe you get your gratification from emotional pain. I can almost identify with that.

But the simple fact is, you weren't made to be that way. If there were a way that you could be rid of most or all the negative emotions that swirl around you, would that be worth taking a look; especially if it doesn't involve delving into either your past or your pocketbook?

There's a rich, fulfilling life available to you if you didn't feel so miserable all the time.

Don't be the person Shakespeare talks about, " Make not your thoughts your prisons."

All the best,


P.S. Want to get out of your prison? To check it out, click here.

Like Water Off a Duck’s Back

Do you know people who go through life and NEVER get down? Whatever happens, they just shrug it off like “water off a duck's back.” Infuriating, isn't it?

Insult; shrug it off. Called a name; shrug it off. Lied about; shrug it off. Cheated; shrug it off. Ridiculed; shrug it off. Makes you want to just shake them; but they’d shrug that off too.

You walk down the same pathways they do. When the same things happen to you, you do a quick boil and either lash outwardly to put them in their place; or you lash inwardly and store up vaults of vile retribution that you'll use some day. It might not be so bad if it stopped there.

But, you dredge up the offenses again and again. You relive the pain again and again. You get angry, indignant, embarrassed, or whatever you felt the first time again and again.

And each time you revisit the pain, your emotions slid a little more down the path toward depression; toward stress; toward lashing out to try to transfer the pain to some place or someone else.

Why are some people able to deal with offensive actions like “water off a duck's back?”

It's simple. They control what they choose to think about; and they choose not to think about hurtful things. If a response is necessary, they can make a more reasoned response because their minds are not churning with anger and whatever else is there.

You can learn to react the same way. It's a process of breaking up an old habit and making a new habit that serves you better.

That takes a little time and a little effort. That's what we talk about in Finding Personal Peace.

God bless,



P.S. Become a “water-off-a-duck's-back” person today by clicking here.