Righteous Anger or Righteous Excuse

Anger is destructive.  Your anger can kill you; not to mention destroy all your important relationships. You can deal with your anger in a way that is far more simple and far more effective than anything you've tried before.

Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to all kinds of problems; problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion.

Righteous Anger or Righteous Excuse

A lot of us grew up believing anger was a "bad" emotion. But it’s okay to feel anger when an outrageous offense demands a response. You can express those feelings righteously! Thankfully, God's Word sets clear parameters for getting peeved, one of which is don’t let the sun go down on your anger. Get angry if you have to, but get over it.

We need to be careful not to use “righteous anger” as an excuse for all our outbursts. Just know that Scripture contains many more verses warning people against blowing their cool than verses advocating such behavior.

Your Anger can Hurt You

Let’s face some harsh facts. Your anger can hurt you physically as much as it can hurt you emotionally. Prolonged anger can cause dangerous increases in hormone levels, blood pressure, and it can cause damage to internal organs. Some studies indicate that anger can increase the likelihood of heart attacks and strokes.

Anger can become addictive in that it produces a sort of "adrenalin thrill" somewhat like you can experience skydiving, bungee jumping, or riding a roller coaster.

Unrestricted anger can result in a "rage" that can cause us to harm ourselves or people around us. I know you've heard of "road rage" and "acts of passion" that resulted in injury or death, sometimes to innocent parties.

Common approaches to anger

Popular approaches to anger include "taking a timeout" or "punching a pillow" to vent your anger. Some suggest that you "scream" or use exercise as a vent. People are taught conflict resolution, how to be assertive, and how to remove oneself from anger-inducing situations.

These ideas may be effective and appropriate when a threat is immediate and immediate action is required because you need a quick distraction before some harm is done.

A More Pervasive Anger

There is a far-more-common form of anger that occurs over and over again without any real-time provocation. Such anger is an emotional response to the memory or recollection of an offense suffered in the past - sometimes many years in the past. When these memories pop into your mind as thoughts; and we mentally chew or ruminate on them; it can become just like the original incident all over again.

But, it’s all triggered by memories or thoughts. It’s not happening all over again in most cases.

Some will tell you to “work through your anger.” Analyze your angry and try to understand why you are angry and how you can deal with it. This doesn’t quite make sense. If your thoughts are making you angry, wouldn’t it likely make you more angry as you try to deal with each of the thoughts?

The solution to your anger is so simple that many people have trouble accepting it. The most effective way to control the negative thinking that results in recurring anger is "simply choose not to think about it." It can be very effective to name the thought, as in "“I will not think about _____________.”

When a negative thought that you know leads to anger pops into your mind, simply say to yourself out loud, “I will not think about that.” Do it again if the idea pops up again; “I will not think about that.”

Someone said, “That’s easier said than done.”

Not really. You have the built-in authority to decide what you want to think about. If a thought causes you anger, don’t think that thought. As you make that choice again and again, your subconscious remembers how you like to respond and will start to make your response automatically. It’s amazing how quickly this can happen.

Furthermore, you were made with a subconscious mind that has over time formed the opinion that you like being angry. So it tries to give you more opportunities, through selected thoughts, to be angry.

The process of choosing not to dwell on those thoughts will, over time, convince your subconscious that you do not want to think about that those things anymore. It’s this process that creates the habit of peace and breaks the habit of anger.

At some point, you won't even realize you are thinking the anger-provoking thoughts because your subconscious mind responds appropriately before they become conscious thoughts.

Nothing could be more effective than having your subconscious mind handle your anger for you before you even think about it. That is so cool!

Resources you can use

There’s a way to deal effectively with anger. Take 3 minutes to learn more at http://findingpersonalpeace.com/r000.

You can use this idea for just about any negative emotion or habit that bothers you including anger.

I hope Finding Personal Peace helps you as much as it helped me with my anger.

Rod Peeks

Josh’s Story – Cutting and Self Hurting

This is a true story about a boy I know. I don’t know much of his background, but I know enough that it breaks my heart. I’ll call him Josh.

Body

Josh is 10. He's the cutest, brightest kid - when he's in public. But he has a far different private life. I first learned his story when a prayer request was shared about him. He was in the psych unit of a local hospital. It seems that Josh has tried two times in recent months to take his own life at school; and he has marks all over his arms where he cuts himself with his fingernails. Josh has had a traumatic life – a life we wouldn’t wish on anybody. But it doesn’t have to be a life sentence.

His story made me want to learn a little more about cutting.

Here’s what Kid’s Health says about cutting

“Injuring yourself on purpose by making scratches or cuts on your body with a sharp object — enough to break the skin and make it bleed — is called cutting. Cutting is a type of self-injury, or SI. People who cut often start cutting in their young teens. Some continue to cut into adulthood.

People may cut themselves on their wrists, arms, legs, or bellies. Some people self-injure by burning their skin with the end of a cigarette or lighted match.

When cuts or burns heal, they often leave scars or marks. People who injure themselves usually hide the cuts and marks and sometimes no one else knows.”
(http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/mental_health/cutting.html)

The Mayo Clinic contributes this:

“Self-injury, also called self-harm, is the act of deliberately harming your own body, such as cutting or burning yourself. It's typically not meant as a suicide attempt. Rather, self-injury is an unhealthy way to cope with emotional pain, intense anger and frustration.

While self-injury may bring a momentary sense of calm and a release of tension, it's usually followed by guilt and shame and the return of painful emotions. And with self-injury comes the possibility of more serious and even fatal self-aggressive actions.

Because self-injury is often done impulsively, it can be considered an impulse-control behavior problem. Self-injury may be linked to a variety of mental disorders, such as depression, eating disorders and borderline personality disorder.” http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/self-injury/DS00775

HelpGuide.Org describes other symptoms of self harm:

Self-harm includes anything you do to intentionally injure yourself. Some of the more common ways include:

·        cutting or severely scratching your skin

·        burning or scalding yourself

·        hitting yourself or banging your head

·        punching things or throwing your body against walls and hard objects

·        sticking objects into your skin

·        intentionally preventing wounds from healing

·        swallowing poisonous substances or inappropriate objects

They also describe warning signs that a family member or friend is cutting or self-injuring

Because clothing can hide physical injuries, and inner turmoil can be covered up by a seemingly calm disposition, self-injury can be hard to detect. However, there are red flags you can look for (but remember—you don’t have to be sure that you know what’s going on in order to reach out to someone you’re worried about):

·        Unexplained wounds or scars from cuts, bruises, or burns, usually on the wrists, arms, thighs, or chest.

·        Blood stains on clothing, towels, or bedding; blood-soaked tissues.

·        Sharp objects or cutting instruments, such as razors, knives, needles, glass shards, or bottle caps, in the person’s belongings.

·        Frequent “accidents.” Someone who self-harms may claim to be clumsy or have many mishaps, in order to explain away injuries.

·        Covering up. A person who self-injures may insist on wearing long sleeves or long pants, even in hot weather.

·        Needing to be alone for long periods of time, especially in the bedroom or bathroom.

·        Isolation and irritability.

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/self_injury.htm

The Mayo Clinic talks about traditional forms of treatment:

Several types of individual psychotherapy may be helpful, such as:

·        Cognitive behavioral therapy, which helps you identify unhealthy, negative beliefs and behaviors and replace them with healthy, positive ones.

·        Dialectical behavior therapy, a type of cognitive behavioral therapy that teaches behavioral skills to help you tolerate distress, manage or regulate your emotions, and improve your relationships with others.

·        Psychodynamic psychotherapy, which focuses on identifying past experiences, hidden memories or interpersonal issues at the root of your emotional difficulties through self-examination guided by a therapist.

·        Mindfulness-based therapies, which help you live in the present, appropriately perceive the thoughts and actions of those around you to reduce your anxiety and depression, and improve your general well-being.

 In addition to individual therapy sessions, family therapy or group therapy also may be recommended.
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/self-injury/DS00775/DSECTION=treatments-and-drugs

I find it interesting that the therapy for dealing with cutting or self-hurting is to relive and try to understand the painful event that cause the desire to hurt in the first place.

WikiHelp has a four-step recommendation about “curing” cutting:

1.      Go beyond medication: There is a cure for teen cutting and adult self harm. Unfortunately the most common way to treat teen and adult self injury has been with medication. Medication is not the best treatment for self harm; this is due to the fact that medication can never get to the real root cause of the cutting.

2.      Recognize you are being pushed: Self harm is caused by the fact that the cutter has been pushed against a wall and has no way out; when you are stressed and pushed you need an outlet. Even animals that are locked in cages and mistreated will start to self harm. Cutters are actually some of the most intelligent people; they have a great insight how the world operates and they know that they are very dissatisfied. Cutting becomes the solution to a stress that the cutter is facing. This is because cutting works, it is not a good solution but it is the only solution the cutter sees. Anyone who is cutting him or herself has been emptied, they are empty and depressed. This depression can lead to suicidal thoughts if the cutter is not careful.

3.      Studies in Ireland show that many cutters do think often about suicide and cutters are depressed even if they do not realize it. The problem was not caused by the person self harming, it was others who pushed the person self harming against a wall. Often family, school or relationship problems can cause a person to turn on their own self. The emptiness of the cutter can be healed without medication or therapy. There is a new technique that has been helping those who cut in an incredible way There is a new technique from the “Red Report: Self Harm” that has been helping many people with teen and adult cutting in an amazing way.

4.      De-activate a cutting thought:The new approach reported by a filmmaker in The "Red Report:Self harm" that has been having great success with self injury, it involves no doctors, and no therapy; actually the depressed person heals alone by deactivating a cutting thought. Scientific studies have confirmed that you can deactivate a cutting thought. You are filled back up, replacing with is missing and causing the self harm. You heal yourself alone and this cutting self help is effective. It is an inside-out treatment that has been helping teens and adults. Do not wait for teen and adult cutting self injury to just go away you must take charge now

http://www.wikihow.com/Cure-Teen-and-Adult-Cutting

It’s this last point that I want to build on here where it talks about a “cutting thought.”

Self harm results from emotions raging wild and causing the victim to feel that they have no way out. Cutting substitutes real pain for the emotional pain.

The ongoing emotional pain is caused by actively ruminating on the painful event. Thinking about the event may be occasional or it may be all the time. The event isn’t happening again; it’s just being relived by thinking about it again and again.

Every episode of cutting is triggered by a thought and by your decision to dwell on that thought.

Right now, I want you to pause and think about the thought that initiated your last episode of self hurting. But DON’T dwell on it. Immediately say to yourself, out loud, “I’m not going to think about that.” If it recurs, say it again, “I’m not going to think about that.”

You’ll discover that the thought prompting you to hurt yourself will go away every time you demand that it go away.  

This solution for self-hurting is so simple that many people have trouble accepting it. The most effective way to control self-hurting is to say to yourself, out loud, "I will not think about that." Do it as often as necessary and do it out loud. It may help if you specifically name the event that you’re refusing to think about. For example, "I will not think about when he touched me there,” or whatever.

Someone said, “That’s easier said than done.”

Not really. You have the built-in authority to decide what you want to think about. If a thought makes you consider hurting yourself, don’t think that thought. It’s your choice! As you make that choice again and again, your subconscious remembers how you like to respond and will start to make your chosen response automatically. It’s amazing how quickly this can happen.

Furthermore, you were made with a subconscious mind that has over time formed the opinion that you like to hurt yourself. To be helpful to you and make you happy, your subconscious gives you all the thoughts it can to reinforce what you like to think about – hurting yourself.

The process of choosing not to dwell on thoughts of hurting yourself will, over time, convince your subconscious that you do not want to be like that anymore. It’s this process that creates the habit of peace and breaks the habit of hurting yourself.

At some point, you won't even realize you are thinking self-hurting thoughts because your subconscious is automatically responding to the thoughts before they become conscious thoughts.

When you begin to have periods of peace instead of anxiety about the hurtful event, you are in a position to make better decisions about other life issues as appropriate.

Nothing could be more effective than having your subconscious mind handle your self-hurting for you before you even consciously think about it. How cool is that?

Even someone Josh’s age can learn to say “I’m not going to think about that” when a cutting thought pops into his mind. He may not be able to take the course, but an adult could take it and share it with Josh.

Resources you can use

Help yourself or someone you love deal with cutting simply and effectively. Check it out at http://findingpersonalpeace.com/r000.

You can use this idea for just about any negative emotion or habit that bothers you in addition to dealing with self-hurting.

I hope Finding Personal Peace helps you with self-hurting as much as it has helped me with my anger.

Rod Peeks

Help Someone You Love Deal With Domestic Violence Simply and Effectively

Victims of ongoing domestic violence really should get help immediately. See the link at the bottom. If the abuse has ended but the memories persist, you can find personal peace in a simple, effective, and painless way right in the privacy of your home computer, laptop, iPad, or smart phone.

People carry deeply embedded memories of past domestic violence. These memories make the recollection almost as painful as the original offense.

Domestic violence is particularly destructive because it touches so many areas in our lives.

(1)   It’s a trust issue when someone in whom we trusted betrayed us by hurting us.

(2)   It’s a fear issue when we worry about a recurrence of the domestic violence even though it may have been years ago.

(3)   It’s a self-esteem issue when we blame ourselves for somehow bringing the violence upon ourselves or for making our abuser angry.

(4)   It’s an anger issue when rage against the outrage of domestic violence against us becomes overwhelming.

(5)   It’s a relationship issue when the domestic violence done against us blocks our ability to have intimacy with another person even though they weren’t part of the original abuse.

(6)   It’s a loss issue in that something valuable has been taken from you by domestic violence that can never be returned.

The domestic violence leading to our anxiety may have occurred in a place that we expected to be secure: in our home, in our marriage or relationship. This is particularly offensive because it damages our ability to trust again.

All these reactions are triggered by a thought that brings the act of violence to the forefront of our attention once again. The thought could be triggered by a word, a smell, a sound, almost anything.

If we let those thoughts lead us to violence anxiety, to becoming overwhelmed, or to being incapable of dealing with the daily routine of life, we need to do something about it.

In a moment, you’ll see a very simple process you can use as often as you like to overcome your violence-inspired anxiety. Because I don’t want to leave you upset, I’m going to tell you about it and then direct you to try it – after you know what to expect.

I have probably led you to some painful thoughts already, especially if you are the victim of past abuse. I want to do say to yourself, out loud, right now, “I’m not going to think about that.” If it recurs, say it again; and again, and again. “I’m not going to think about that.”

You’ll soon discover that the thoughts that lead to violence anxiety will diminish initially and eventually disappear over a period of time. They will go away every time you demand that they go away.  

Dealing with domestic-violence anxiety is so simple that many people have trouble accepting it. The most effective way to control such thinking is to say to yourself, out loud, "I will not think about that." Do it as often as necessary every time a domestic-violence thought pops into your mind, "I will not think about that."

Someone said, “That’s easier said than done.”

Not really. You have the innate authority to decide what you want to think about. If a thought causes you to have violence anxiety, don’t think that thought! It’s your choice. As you make that choice again and again, your subconscious remembers how you like to respond and will start to make your response automatically. This could happen in just days or weeks.

Furthermore, you were made with a subconscious mind that has over time formed the opinion that you may actually like being a victim of violence. Since your subconscious wants to please you, it will begin to give you more and more of the thoughts it thinks you like: thoughts that lead to domestic-violence anxiety.

The process of choosing not to dwell on those domestic-violence thoughts will, over time, convince your subconscious that you do not want to think about those things anymore. It’s this process that creates the habit of peace and breaks the habit of being a victim.

At some point, you won't even realize you are thinking those violence-inspired thoughts because your subconscious is automatically responding to the thoughts before they become conscious thoughts.

Nothing could be more effective than having your subconscious mind handle your domestic-violence anxiety for you before you even think about it.

Resources you can use

Help someone you love effectively deal with domestic violence. Take 3 minutes to learn more at http://findingpersonalpeace.com/s023.     

You can use this idea for just about any negative emotion or habit that bothers you in addition to the domestic-violence anxiety.

If you need help with an ongoing domestic violence situation, click http://findingpersonalpeace.com/student/hotlines.pdf to find resources that can help you.

I hope Finding Personal Peace helps you as much dealing with violence anxiety as it helped me with my anger problem.

Rod Peeks

Thanks for reading our blog today. I invite you to respond in several ways: (1) Comment in the space below if you agree or disagree with what I've said. A dialogue could be interesting for all; (2) Share the post with your friends using the buttons below; and (3) sign up to get an email with each new post. There’s a place to do that on the right. Then you won’t have to remember to look for our subsequent posts. Thanks again!

Help Someone You Love Deal with Depression Simply and Effectively

Depression is like being trapped in darkness with no spark of hope anywhere. It makes any relationship virtually impossible to maintain. You can deal with your depression in a simple and effective way in the privacy of your home computer, laptop, iPad, or smart phone.

Ron Wilkins, in his book, Removing Emotional Pain, describes depression as the natural consequence of dwelling on negative thoughts. Unchecked, it inevitably leads to more dangerous emotional and health situations.

Depression can be equally frustrating to those who are around you. They can see all kinds of answers all around you; but you can’t see them in your self-imposed darkness. It’s self-defeating. They see solutions and may tend to blame you because you can’t see them too.

Depression is an emotional downer that can make the simple acts of getting out of bed too much to handle. It can lead to masking behaviors such as drinking or drugs. Intellectually, you know those things are destructive but at least you’re not forced to deal with your negative thoughts when you’re under the influence.

Popular approaches can include meds to lift your mood while encouraging you to relive the painful experiences that caused your depression in the first place.

If, as Wilkins claims, depression is the result of “dwelling on negative thoughts,” then the simple answer is “don’t dwell on negative thoughts!” Such thoughts are the ones that occur over and over again without any real-time provocation. The thoughts are an emotional response, a memory, of a painful event suffered in the past - sometimes many years in the past. When these memories pop into your mind as negative thoughts; and we mentally chew or ruminate on them; it can become just like the original incident all over again and you can become depressed.

But, it’s all thoughts and recollections. It’s not happening all over again in most cases – it’s a memory.

The answer to depression is so simple that many people have trouble accepting it. The most effective way to control the negative thinking that results in recurring depression is "simply choose not to think about it."

When a negative thought that usually leads to depression pops into your mind, simply say to yourself out loud, “I will not think about that.” Do it again if the idea pops up again: “I will not think about that.”

When a negative thought questions your worth, simply say to yourself out loud, “I will not think about that.”

When a negative thought tells you that you are a loser, simply say to yourself out loud, “I will not think about that.”

Someone said, “That’s easier said than done.”

Not really. You have the innate authority to decide what you want to think about. If a thought makes you depressed, don’t think that thought. It’s your choice. As you make that choice again and again, your subconscious remembers how you like to respond and will start to make your response automatically. It’s amazing how quickly this can happen.

Furthermore, you were made with a subconscious mind that has over time formed the opinion that you like being depressed. So its response is to give you more and more selected thoughts to help you be depressed.

The process of choosing not to dwell on those thoughts will, over time, convince your subconscious that you do not want to think about that those things anymore. It’s this process that creates the habit of peace and breaks the habit of depression.

At some point, you won't even realize you are thinking depressing thoughts because your subconscious is automatically responding to the thoughts before they become conscious thoughts.

Nothing could be more effective than having your subconscious mind handle your depression for you before you even think about it.

Resources you can use

Help someone you love deal effectively with depression. Take 3 minutes to learn more at http://findingpersonalpeace.com/s002.

You can use this idea for just about any negative emotion or habit that bothers you including depression.

I hope Finding Personal Peace helps you with your depression as much as it helped me with my anger.

Rod Peeks

Thanks for reading our blog today. I invite you to respond in several ways: (1) Comment in the space below if you agree or disagree with what I've said. A dialogue could be interesting for all; (2) Share the post with your friends using the buttons below; and (3) sign up to get an email with each new post. There’s a place to do that on the right. Then you won’t have to remember to look for our subsequent posts. Thanks again!

Help Someone You Love Deal with Anger Simply and Effectively

Anger is destructive.  Your anger can kill you; not to mention destroy all your important relationships. You can deal with your anger in a way that is far more simple and far more effective than anything you've tried before.

Anger can hurt you physically as much as it can hurt you emotionally. Prolonged anger can cause dangerous increases in hormone levels, blood pressure, and it can cause damage to internal organs. Some studies indicate that anger can increase the likelihood of heart attacks and strokes.

Anger can become addictive in that it produces a sort of "adrenalin thrill" somewhat like you can experience skydiving, bungee jumping, or riding a roller coaster.

Unrestricted anger can result in a "rage" that can cause us to harm ourselves or people around us. I know you've heard of "road rage" and "acts of passion" that resulted in injury or death, sometimes to innocent parties.

Anger can also damage family relationships, social relationships and even cost you your job.

Popular approaches to anger include "taking a timeout" or "punching a pillow" to vent your anger. Some suggest that you "scream" or use exercise as a vent. People are taught conflict resolution, how to be assertive, and how to remove oneself from anger-inducing situations.

These ideas may be good and effective when a threat is immediate and immediate action is required because you need a quick distraction before some harm is done.

There is a far-more-common form of anger that occurs over and over again without any real-time provocation. Such anger is an emotional response to the memory or recollection of an offense suffered in the past - sometimes many years in the past. When these memories pop into your mind as thoughts; and we mentally chew or ruminate on them; it can become just like the original incident all over again.

But, it’s all triggered by memories or thoughts. It’s not happening all over again in most cases.

The solution to your anger is so simple that many people have trouble accepting it. The most effective way to control the negative thinking that results in recurring anger is "simply choose not to think about it."

When a negative thought that you know leads to anger pops into your mind, simply say to yourself out loud, “I will not think about that.” Do it again if the idea pops up again; “I will not think about that.”

Someone said, “That’s easier said than done.”

Not really. You have the inborn authority to decide what you want to think about. If a thought causes you anger, don’t think that thought. As you make that choice again and again, your subconscious remembers how you like to respond and will start to make your response automatically. It’s amazing how quickly this can happen.

Furthermore, you were made with a subconscious mind that has over time formed the opinion that you like being angry. So it tries to give you more opportunities, through selected thoughts, to be angry.

The process of choosing not to dwell on those thoughts will, over time, convince your subconscious that you do not want to think about that those things anymore. It’s this process that creates the habit of peace and breaks the habit of anger.

At some point, you won't even realize you are thinking the anger-provoking thoughts because your subconscious mind responds appropriately before they become conscious thoughts.

Nothing could be more effective than having your subconscious mind handle your anger for you before you even think about it. That is so cool!

Resources you can use

Help someone you love deal effectively with anger. Take 3 minutes to learn more at http://findingpersonalpeace.com/s001.

You can use this idea for just about any negative emotion or habit that bothers you including anger.

I hope Finding Personal Peace helps you as much as it helped me with my anger.

Rod Peeks

Thanks for reading our blog today. I invite you to respond in several ways: (1) Comment in the space below if you agree or disagree with what I've said. A dialogue could be interesting for all; (2) Share the post with your friends using the buttons below; and (3) sign up to get an email with each new post. There’s a place to do that on the right. Then you won’t have to remember to look for our subsequent posts. Thanks again!

Help Someone You Love Deal with Stress Simply and Effectively

Stress is epidemic today. At its worst, stress is the knife-edge that pierces every fiber of our being. Even moderate stress makes virtually any relationship difficult to maintain. But there’s hope. You can deal with your stress in a simple and effective way right there in the privacy of your home computer, laptop, iPad, or smart phone.

Body

Time Magazine describes stress as the cause of up to 85% of the physical illness in our country today.  Stress is often the natural consequence of dwelling on negative thoughts. Unchecked, it inevitably leads to serious illness and even death.

Stress can blind you to the reality around you. You simply can’t see a way out because the pain hurts too much to think rationally. People around you can suggest answers, but you can’t see them through the pain. It is all too easy to transfer your stress to other people at home or at work. If they would just leave you alone! It’s something that you have to work out yourself. You end up hurting all your important relationships because those who love you see solutions and may become frustrated with you because you can’t see them too.

The pain of stress makes the simple acts of getting out of bed too much to handle. It can lead to masking behaviors such as drinking or drugs. Intellectually, you know those things are destructive but at least you don’t feel the pain when you’re under the influence.

Most popular treatments include meds to alter your moods while encouraging you to relive or work through the painful experiences that caused your stress in the first place.

Ron Wilkins claims in “Removing Emotional Pain”, that stress is the natural result of “dwelling on negative thoughts.” If that’s the case, then the simple answer is “don’t dwell on negative thoughts!”

Very often such thoughts occur over and over again without any real-time provocation. The thoughts are an emotional recollection, just a memory, of a past painful event - sometimes many years in the past. When these memories pop into your mind as negative thoughts; and we mentally chew or ruminate on them; it can become just like the original incident all over again.

But, it’s a thought. It’s not happening all over again in most cases – it’s a memory.

The best way of addressing stress is so simple that many people have trouble accepting it. The most effective way to control the negative thinking that results in recurring stress is "simply choose not to think about it."

When a negative thought that you know leads to stress pops into your mind, simply say to yourself out loud, “I will not think about that.” Do it again if the idea pops up again.

When you realize that you’re starting to feel down because of something churning around your mind, simply say to yourself out loud, “I will not think about that.”

If you start to blame yourself because of something you’re only thinking about, simply say to yourself out loud, “I will not think about that.”

Someone said, “That’s easier said than done.”

Not really. You have the built-in authority to decide what you want to think about. If a thought causes you pain, don’t think that thought. It’s your choice! As you make that choice again and again, your subconscious remembers how you like to respond and will start to make your response automatically. It’s amazing how quickly this can happen.

Furthermore, you were made with a subconscious mind that has over time formed the opinion that you like being stressed.  In its effort to give you what you like, your subconscious gives you more and more thoughts that cause you stress when you dwell on them.

The process of choosing not to dwell on those thoughts will, over time, convince your subconscious that you do not want to think about that those things anymore. It’s this process that creates the habit of peace and breaks the habit of stress.

When that happens, you won't even realize you are thinking stressful thoughts because your subconscious handles them automatically before they become conscious thoughts.

Nothing could be more effective than having your subconscious mind handle your stress for you before you even think about it.

Resources you can use

Help someone you love deal effectively with stress. Take 3 minutes right now to learn more at http://findingpersonalpeace.com/s003.

You can use this idea for just about any negative emotion or habit that bothers you including stress.

I hope Finding Personal Peace helps you with your stress as much as it helped me with my anger.

Rod Peeks

Thanks for reading our blog today. I invite you to respond in several ways: (1) Comment in the space below if you agree or disagree with what I’ve said. A dialogue could be interesting for all; (2) Share the post with your friends using the buttons below; and (3) sign up to get an email with each new post. There’s a place to do that on the right. Then you won’t have to remember to look for our subsequent posts. Thanks again!

Help Someone You Love Make Good Decisions Simply and Effectively

Does it seem that every decision you make blows up in your face? It doesn’t have to be that way. You can find personal peace in a simple and effective way right there in the privacy of your home computer, laptop, iPad, or smart phone.

Body

My desk is so cluttered it seems at least half my time is spent looking for things. If your mind is cluttered the same way, it’s really hard to make good decisions. It’s even harder if your mind is cluttered with all sorts of distracting emotions tugging you this way and that.

Decisions made emotionally run a much higher risk of being the wrong decision.

If you’re stressed, you can make bad decisions.

If you’re on an emotional high, you can also make bad decisions. Have you ever had buyer’s remorse? That new car drove so fine and smelled so good and later you realize the payments are SO high.

We’ll use the term “distracted thinking” to refer to both emotionally-high and emotionally-low thinking. Anything that distracts us from doing the best thing is not good for us.

All kinds of things drive our emotions in the negative. Depression, anger, stress, fear, anxiety, phobias, and so on create situations that call for a decision and also create the situation that probably will cause us to make a hurried and often bad decision.

All emotions are triggered by thoughts. When we let those thoughts take away our ability to do what we need to do properly, it can create an unhealthy situation for you.

The thoughts are typically about something that has happened in the past. It other words, it’s a memory that is bothering us.

Right now, I want you to pause and think about something that leaves you feeling anxious or frustrated. But DON’T dwell on it. Immediately say to yourself, out loud, “I’m not going to think about that.” If it recurs, say it again.

You’ll discover that the frustrating thought will go away. It will go away every time you demand that it go away.  

Dealing with distracting thoughts is so simple that many people have trouble accepting it. The most effective way to control negative thinking is to say to yourself, out loud, "I will not think about that." Do it as often as necessary and do it out loud.

Someone said, “That’s easier said than done.”

Not really. You were made with an innate authority to decide what you want to think about. If a thought causes you to be distracted or emotional, don’t think that thought. It’s your choice. As you make that choice again and again, your subconscious remembers how you like to respond and will start to make your response automatically. It’s amazing how quickly this can happen.

Furthermore, you were made with a subconscious mind that has over time formed the opinion that you like making bad decisions. The process of choosing not to dwell on those thoughts will, over time, convince your subconscious that you do not want to think about that those things anymore. It’s this process that creates the habit of peace and breaks the habit of bad decisions.

At some point, you won't even realize you are thinking distracting thoughts because your subconscious is automatically responding to the thoughts before they become conscious thoughts.

Nothing could be more effective than having your subconscious mind handle your distracted and emotional thinking for you before you even think about it.

Resources you can use

Help someone you love make better decisions. Take 3 minutes to learn more at http://findingpersonalpeace.com/s012.

You can use this idea for just about any negative emotion or habit that bothers you including making bad decisions.

I hope Finding Personal Peace helps you as much in making better decisions as it helped me with my anger problem.

Rod Peeks

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