Help Someone You Love Deal with Depression Simply and Effectively

Depression is like being trapped in darkness with no spark of hope anywhere. It makes any relationship virtually impossible to maintain. You can deal with your depression in a simple and effective way in the privacy of your home computer, laptop, iPad, or smart phone.

Ron Wilkins, in his book, Removing Emotional Pain, describes depression as the natural consequence of dwelling on negative thoughts. Unchecked, it inevitably leads to more dangerous emotional and health situations.

Depression can be equally frustrating to those who are around you. They can see all kinds of answers all around you; but you can’t see them in your self-imposed darkness. It’s self-defeating. They see solutions and may tend to blame you because you can’t see them too.

Depression is an emotional downer that can make the simple acts of getting out of bed too much to handle. It can lead to masking behaviors such as drinking or drugs. Intellectually, you know those things are destructive but at least you’re not forced to deal with your negative thoughts when you’re under the influence.

Popular approaches can include meds to lift your mood while encouraging you to relive the painful experiences that caused your depression in the first place.

If, as Wilkins claims, depression is the result of “dwelling on negative thoughts,” then the simple answer is “don’t dwell on negative thoughts!” Such thoughts are the ones that occur over and over again without any real-time provocation. The thoughts are an emotional response, a memory, of a painful event suffered in the past - sometimes many years in the past. When these memories pop into your mind as negative thoughts; and we mentally chew or ruminate on them; it can become just like the original incident all over again and you can become depressed.

But, it’s all thoughts and recollections. It’s not happening all over again in most cases – it’s a memory.

The answer to depression is so simple that many people have trouble accepting it. The most effective way to control the negative thinking that results in recurring depression is "simply choose not to think about it."

When a negative thought that usually leads to depression pops into your mind, simply say to yourself out loud, “I will not think about that.” Do it again if the idea pops up again: “I will not think about that.”

When a negative thought questions your worth, simply say to yourself out loud, “I will not think about that.”

When a negative thought tells you that you are a loser, simply say to yourself out loud, “I will not think about that.”

Someone said, “That’s easier said than done.”

Not really. You have the innate authority to decide what you want to think about. If a thought makes you depressed, don’t think that thought. It’s your choice. As you make that choice again and again, your subconscious remembers how you like to respond and will start to make your response automatically. It’s amazing how quickly this can happen.

Furthermore, you were made with a subconscious mind that has over time formed the opinion that you like being depressed. So its response is to give you more and more selected thoughts to help you be depressed.

The process of choosing not to dwell on those thoughts will, over time, convince your subconscious that you do not want to think about that those things anymore. It’s this process that creates the habit of peace and breaks the habit of depression.

At some point, you won't even realize you are thinking depressing thoughts because your subconscious is automatically responding to the thoughts before they become conscious thoughts.

Nothing could be more effective than having your subconscious mind handle your depression for you before you even think about it.

Resources you can use

Help someone you love deal effectively with depression. Take 3 minutes to learn more at http://findingpersonalpeace.com/s002.

You can use this idea for just about any negative emotion or habit that bothers you including depression.

I hope Finding Personal Peace helps you with your depression as much as it helped me with my anger.

Rod Peeks

Thanks for reading our blog today. I invite you to respond in several ways: (1) Comment in the space below if you agree or disagree with what I've said. A dialogue could be interesting for all; (2) Share the post with your friends using the buttons below; and (3) sign up to get an email with each new post. There’s a place to do that on the right. Then you won’t have to remember to look for our subsequent posts. Thanks again!

Oh, For Just a Little Light

When one is in darkness, even a spark is blinding

Which Light is Yours?

Do you know about darkness?

Lately, I’m into reading about the World War II battles in the Pacific. One prohibition that every sailor carried with him was no smoking on deck at night. The glow from the business end of a cigarette could be seen for miles and could reveal the position of his ship to the enemy. It happened.

Have you ever been in total darkness? Like on a cave tour when they turn the lights out? When you literally can’t see your hand in front of your face?

Lots of people are like that emotionally. Their life is so dark that they can’t see what their next step should be. They are so hungry for a respite from the darkness and pain that they grope through the darkness for any relief including drugs, alcohol, and ultimately . . .

What they would give for just a spark of hope; for a moment of understanding; for a glimmer of understanding in an otherwise dismal situation.

Just a little light

I used the graphic of penlights to make this point. Every person’s light may be different – different shape, different duration, different intensity. But the common thread is that for the time that the light shines, there is hope – hope of an answer, hope of understanding, a hope of peace.

What’s the source of this little light?

It has to come from within. Sure, someone could shine a light on you and reveal important things in its beam. But that light is temporary. When the hand holding the light goes away, so does the light.

Coming from within means that you control the light. You can turn it on at will. You can turn it on as often as you like. You can shine the light here and you can shine it there across your emotional darkness.

Such power

When one is in darkness, even a spark is blinding. You can have the power to light that spark anytime you choose.

You can simply rest in the little spotlight for a time to relieve the pain.

You can use the illumination to make a reasoned decision affecting your future.

You can begin to see answers.

And when that light goes out, you can light it again; or you can light another light. It’s your choice – you have the power.

Somebody said, “Yeah, like I believe that!”

For several years, I walked in some darkness caused by an anger problem. I learned that I didn't have to give in to my angry thoughts. I didn't have to let them rule me; I could rule them.

Just like I did, you can learn how to rule over your dark emotional thoughts, regardless of what they are.

And when you shut down just one thought, for the moment it’s shut down, you have a moment of light; a moment of peace.

And that thought comes back; and you shut it down again.

What I learned, and what I've put into Finding Personal Peace, is that you develop a habit of shutting down that thought. And another thought. And even another thought. Any negative thought!

As you shut down more and more dark thoughts, you have more and more pen lights shining in your soul. Every day you can walk more and more in light rather than darkness.

You can make decisions from within the light that are better decisions than the ones you made from the darkness.

I can’t shine the light for you; and I wouldn't if I could. The light that I might shine is temporary for as long as I’m there.

What you want is to have your hand on the light switch in your life. You want to break the habit of letting the darkness rule. You want to make the habit of walking in the light of your own peace.

If you need more light, more peace, or if you know someone who does, visit Finding Personal Peace to learn how you can have what you need.

God bless,

www.findingpersonalpeace.com

Thanks for reading our blog today. I invite you to respond in several ways: (1) Comment in the space below if you agree or disagree with what I’ve said. A dialogue could be interesting for all; (2) Share the post with your friends using the buttons below; and (3) sign up to get an email with each new post. There’s a place to do that on the right. Then you won’t have to remember to look for our subsequent posts. Thanks again!

Decisions, Decisions, Decisions

[caption id="" align="alignright" width="160"] Are You Making Good Decisions?[/caption]

Life is filled with decisions. Maybe dozens if not scores of them every day. Some decisions are relatively insignificant – Do I want to turn the ceiling fan on? Others may introduce serious problems – Do I want to go to work today? Others may be deadly – I’ll have just one more beer before driving home.

Three criteria of a good decision

Onlinesuccesscentre.com defines three characteristics of a good decision:

“First, a decision is whole and sound when we've done the homework and understand what is involved. We've talked with, or at least thought about, others who deserve to be considered. Finally, before we act, we have reflected on what really matters. We have covered the bases.” Seeking wise counsel may be part of the necessary homework before an important decision.

“Second, decisions made with integrity are coherent in that the reasons we give for our decision actually align with the decision itself. Coherence is not accidental. We create it. When we deliberately integrate our beliefs and actions, we walk our talk.”

“Finally, good decisions are transparent. Accountability and trust rest on openness and honesty. When we speak directly and candidly to others about our decision and its impact, we become accountable for our choice. Integrity requires telling the truth, including the hard parts.”

Clear thinking vs. distracted thinking

All three criteria require clear thinking. Decisions may not always be right, but making the decision in an atmosphere of clear thinking greatly increases the likelihood of a good, effective decision.

Unfortunately, many important decisions are made under a cloud of emotions or distractions.

Negative thinking

I've said a lot in my posts about negative thinking. We simply do not have the capacity to make a good decision when we are stressed out emotionally.

An area pastor recently murdered his wife and attempted to kill his daughter before attempting to take his own life. I don’t know his circumstances but I’m sure that his emotions were in an uproar when he decided to pick up that gun.

When we’re strung out emotionally, we tend to make snap judgments just to relieve the pain or stress.

Hyper-emotions

It can also be risky to make decisions when our emotions are hyper-elated. How many cars are bought from the smell and feel of the test drive without considering the monthly payments, not to mention the insurance?

How many lives are irrevocably changed in the height of passion when it’s virtually impossible to make a rational decision?

Life doesn’t have to be that way

Fortunately, we can create a clear-thinking environment by taking control of our distracted thinking. One of the lessons in Finding Personal Peace is about making good decisions.

Good decisions can become routine; not a shot in the dark.

Regards,



www.findingpersonalpeace.com

Thanks for reading our blog today. I invite you to respond in several ways: (1) Comment in the space below if you agree or disagree with what I’ve said. A dialogue could be interesting for all; (2) Share the post with your friends. There are buttons below for Facebook, Twitter, and other social media sites; and (3) sign up for an email with each new post. There’s a place to do that on the right. Then you won’t have to remember to look for subsequent posts. Thanks again!

Find Your Star

[caption id="attachment_445" align="alignright" width="179"] Searching for Your Peace Star[/caption]

I’m not going to try to argue whether the Three Wise Men from the East were real or whether they were part of the stories surrounding the birth of Christ.

For the purposes of this story, this could be true or it could be legend.

Far away to the East

The three kings were so rich that they didn't have to work for a living. They didn't have to go to the factory or to the brokerage office or the bank. It would fit the culture that while the masses worked, the kings devoted their lives to scientific study of the earth or the heavens.

Our three guys spent their nights looking at the stars and their days writing about anything they saw that was new.

On occasion, they saw a comet or that one of the nearby planets appeared to be especially bright. They identified the constellations as they moved across the heavens. They might see meteors or eclipses. When they saw something new, they tried to understand it based either on their prior observations or they would speculate on what it might mean.

One night they saw a really unusual sight. It was a star so bright that it had to have special meaning.

It was so special that they arranged to have their affairs managed by capable men and they packed up their entourage and headed west.

Living with a Passion

Day after day they traveled and night after night they checked on their special star.

They journeyed with a passion that was fired by the unknown meaning of the special star.

And according to the Matthew account, after a year or two, they found their way to the house where the Christ Child lived. They presented their gifts and worshiped Him.

The Missing Passion

What a shame it is that so many people live a life without passion. It has little to do with wealth or station; it has more to do with being fulfilled and complete.

If we have passion, even the setbacks are just speed bumps on the road to meaning in our life.

But without passion, it may be a struggle to just get out of bed.

Without passion, we may fall victim to looking for peace in all the wrong places.

Without passion, personal peace suffers.

Passion is possible for all of us

Always be looking for your special star; the star that could add passion to your life. It could appear at any moment – if it’s not hidden by negativity that often swirls around us.

Learning how to deal with the negativity the key to finding first peace, then passion. I’d love to share with you some of the things I’ve learned about restoring personal peace. Just click the link at the bottom.

Seek Passion – It’s Worth It

God bless,



www.findingpersonalpeace.com

A Candle of Hope

[caption id="attachment_434" align="alignright" width="159"] The Candle of Hope[/caption]

Today at church we lit the first Advent Candle, the Candle of Hope. Hope is the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best. What a powerful emotion is hope! Hope is a strong girder that can span wide chasms of circumstances that assail many of us.

Hope is a powerful engine that can push us through the struggles that often seem to block our way.

Hope makes tomorrow seem brighter than today; today brighter than yesterday.

So we lit the candle of Hope and a bold flame shown steady and bright.

A Flicker of Hope

So many people don’t have even a flicker of hope. For them, hope is overwhelmed by a flood of negative emotions and negative thinking. Know anybody like that?

It’s sad when the road is always running uphill and getting steeper.

It’s sad when the storm on our emotional horizon is growing with each passing day instead of receding with each new sunrise.

It’s sad when we don’t care any more.

Life doesn’t have to be that way.

We have an innate capacity for hope. We were built that way.

Something inside us truly wants the best for us.  That inner feeling can begin to grow if we give it time and space to expand.

That inner feeling can be reinforced if by clear thinking we can make timely and good life decisions that need to be made.

That inner feeling can become more real every day as we let ourselves have more peace.

So how is that possible?

We don’t have to let the negative thinking take over our lives.

We don’t have to dwell on every bad that thing that has happened to us or that we have caused to happen to ourselves or others.

We don’t have to stew and foment as a matter of habit. Bad habits can be broken. New habits can be made.

There is neither time nor space here to tell you how this is possible. You’re welcome to visit the link below my name for the details.

The Candle of Hope can become a blazing torch if you give it the fuel of personal peace.

God bless!



www.findingpersonalpeace.com