Help Someone You Love Deal With Domestic Violence Simply and Effectively

Victims of ongoing domestic violence really should get help immediately. See the link at the bottom. If the abuse has ended but the memories persist, you can find personal peace in a simple, effective, and painless way right in the privacy of your home computer, laptop, iPad, or smart phone.

People carry deeply embedded memories of past domestic violence. These memories make the recollection almost as painful as the original offense.

Domestic violence is particularly destructive because it touches so many areas in our lives.

(1)   It’s a trust issue when someone in whom we trusted betrayed us by hurting us.

(2)   It’s a fear issue when we worry about a recurrence of the domestic violence even though it may have been years ago.

(3)   It’s a self-esteem issue when we blame ourselves for somehow bringing the violence upon ourselves or for making our abuser angry.

(4)   It’s an anger issue when rage against the outrage of domestic violence against us becomes overwhelming.

(5)   It’s a relationship issue when the domestic violence done against us blocks our ability to have intimacy with another person even though they weren’t part of the original abuse.

(6)   It’s a loss issue in that something valuable has been taken from you by domestic violence that can never be returned.

The domestic violence leading to our anxiety may have occurred in a place that we expected to be secure: in our home, in our marriage or relationship. This is particularly offensive because it damages our ability to trust again.

All these reactions are triggered by a thought that brings the act of violence to the forefront of our attention once again. The thought could be triggered by a word, a smell, a sound, almost anything.

If we let those thoughts lead us to violence anxiety, to becoming overwhelmed, or to being incapable of dealing with the daily routine of life, we need to do something about it.

In a moment, you’ll see a very simple process you can use as often as you like to overcome your violence-inspired anxiety. Because I don’t want to leave you upset, I’m going to tell you about it and then direct you to try it – after you know what to expect.

I have probably led you to some painful thoughts already, especially if you are the victim of past abuse. I want to do say to yourself, out loud, right now, “I’m not going to think about that.” If it recurs, say it again; and again, and again. “I’m not going to think about that.”

You’ll soon discover that the thoughts that lead to violence anxiety will diminish initially and eventually disappear over a period of time. They will go away every time you demand that they go away.  

Dealing with domestic-violence anxiety is so simple that many people have trouble accepting it. The most effective way to control such thinking is to say to yourself, out loud, "I will not think about that." Do it as often as necessary every time a domestic-violence thought pops into your mind, "I will not think about that."

Someone said, “That’s easier said than done.”

Not really. You have the innate authority to decide what you want to think about. If a thought causes you to have violence anxiety, don’t think that thought! It’s your choice. As you make that choice again and again, your subconscious remembers how you like to respond and will start to make your response automatically. This could happen in just days or weeks.

Furthermore, you were made with a subconscious mind that has over time formed the opinion that you may actually like being a victim of violence. Since your subconscious wants to please you, it will begin to give you more and more of the thoughts it thinks you like: thoughts that lead to domestic-violence anxiety.

The process of choosing not to dwell on those domestic-violence thoughts will, over time, convince your subconscious that you do not want to think about those things anymore. It’s this process that creates the habit of peace and breaks the habit of being a victim.

At some point, you won't even realize you are thinking those violence-inspired thoughts because your subconscious is automatically responding to the thoughts before they become conscious thoughts.

Nothing could be more effective than having your subconscious mind handle your domestic-violence anxiety for you before you even think about it.

Resources you can use

Help someone you love effectively deal with domestic violence. Take 3 minutes to learn more at http://findingpersonalpeace.com/s023.     

You can use this idea for just about any negative emotion or habit that bothers you in addition to the domestic-violence anxiety.

If you need help with an ongoing domestic violence situation, click http://findingpersonalpeace.com/student/hotlines.pdf to find resources that can help you.

I hope Finding Personal Peace helps you as much dealing with violence anxiety as it helped me with my anger problem.

Rod Peeks

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