Righteous Anger or Righteous Excuse

Anger is destructive.  Your anger can kill you; not to mention destroy all your important relationships. You can deal with your anger in a way that is far more simple and far more effective than anything you've tried before.

Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to all kinds of problems; problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion.

Righteous Anger or Righteous Excuse

A lot of us grew up believing anger was a "bad" emotion. But it’s okay to feel anger when an outrageous offense demands a response. You can express those feelings righteously! Thankfully, God's Word sets clear parameters for getting peeved, one of which is don’t let the sun go down on your anger. Get angry if you have to, but get over it.

We need to be careful not to use “righteous anger” as an excuse for all our outbursts. Just know that Scripture contains many more verses warning people against blowing their cool than verses advocating such behavior.

Your Anger can Hurt You

Let’s face some harsh facts. Your anger can hurt you physically as much as it can hurt you emotionally. Prolonged anger can cause dangerous increases in hormone levels, blood pressure, and it can cause damage to internal organs. Some studies indicate that anger can increase the likelihood of heart attacks and strokes.

Anger can become addictive in that it produces a sort of "adrenalin thrill" somewhat like you can experience skydiving, bungee jumping, or riding a roller coaster.

Unrestricted anger can result in a "rage" that can cause us to harm ourselves or people around us. I know you've heard of "road rage" and "acts of passion" that resulted in injury or death, sometimes to innocent parties.

Common approaches to anger

Popular approaches to anger include "taking a timeout" or "punching a pillow" to vent your anger. Some suggest that you "scream" or use exercise as a vent. People are taught conflict resolution, how to be assertive, and how to remove oneself from anger-inducing situations.

These ideas may be effective and appropriate when a threat is immediate and immediate action is required because you need a quick distraction before some harm is done.

A More Pervasive Anger

There is a far-more-common form of anger that occurs over and over again without any real-time provocation. Such anger is an emotional response to the memory or recollection of an offense suffered in the past - sometimes many years in the past. When these memories pop into your mind as thoughts; and we mentally chew or ruminate on them; it can become just like the original incident all over again.

But, it’s all triggered by memories or thoughts. It’s not happening all over again in most cases.

Some will tell you to “work through your anger.” Analyze your angry and try to understand why you are angry and how you can deal with it. This doesn’t quite make sense. If your thoughts are making you angry, wouldn’t it likely make you more angry as you try to deal with each of the thoughts?

The solution to your anger is so simple that many people have trouble accepting it. The most effective way to control the negative thinking that results in recurring anger is "simply choose not to think about it." It can be very effective to name the thought, as in "“I will not think about _____________.”

When a negative thought that you know leads to anger pops into your mind, simply say to yourself out loud, “I will not think about that.” Do it again if the idea pops up again; “I will not think about that.”

Someone said, “That’s easier said than done.”

Not really. You have the built-in authority to decide what you want to think about. If a thought causes you anger, don’t think that thought. As you make that choice again and again, your subconscious remembers how you like to respond and will start to make your response automatically. It’s amazing how quickly this can happen.

Furthermore, you were made with a subconscious mind that has over time formed the opinion that you like being angry. So it tries to give you more opportunities, through selected thoughts, to be angry.

The process of choosing not to dwell on those thoughts will, over time, convince your subconscious that you do not want to think about that those things anymore. It’s this process that creates the habit of peace and breaks the habit of anger.

At some point, you won't even realize you are thinking the anger-provoking thoughts because your subconscious mind responds appropriately before they become conscious thoughts.

Nothing could be more effective than having your subconscious mind handle your anger for you before you even think about it. That is so cool!

Resources you can use

There’s a way to deal effectively with anger. Take 3 minutes to learn more at http://findingpersonalpeace.com/r000.

You can use this idea for just about any negative emotion or habit that bothers you including anger.

I hope Finding Personal Peace helps you as much as it helped me with my anger.

Rod Peeks

Help Someone You Love Deal With Domestic Violence Simply and Effectively

Victims of ongoing domestic violence really should get help immediately. See the link at the bottom. If the abuse has ended but the memories persist, you can find personal peace in a simple, effective, and painless way right in the privacy of your home computer, laptop, iPad, or smart phone.

People carry deeply embedded memories of past domestic violence. These memories make the recollection almost as painful as the original offense.

Domestic violence is particularly destructive because it touches so many areas in our lives.

(1)   It’s a trust issue when someone in whom we trusted betrayed us by hurting us.

(2)   It’s a fear issue when we worry about a recurrence of the domestic violence even though it may have been years ago.

(3)   It’s a self-esteem issue when we blame ourselves for somehow bringing the violence upon ourselves or for making our abuser angry.

(4)   It’s an anger issue when rage against the outrage of domestic violence against us becomes overwhelming.

(5)   It’s a relationship issue when the domestic violence done against us blocks our ability to have intimacy with another person even though they weren’t part of the original abuse.

(6)   It’s a loss issue in that something valuable has been taken from you by domestic violence that can never be returned.

The domestic violence leading to our anxiety may have occurred in a place that we expected to be secure: in our home, in our marriage or relationship. This is particularly offensive because it damages our ability to trust again.

All these reactions are triggered by a thought that brings the act of violence to the forefront of our attention once again. The thought could be triggered by a word, a smell, a sound, almost anything.

If we let those thoughts lead us to violence anxiety, to becoming overwhelmed, or to being incapable of dealing with the daily routine of life, we need to do something about it.

In a moment, you’ll see a very simple process you can use as often as you like to overcome your violence-inspired anxiety. Because I don’t want to leave you upset, I’m going to tell you about it and then direct you to try it – after you know what to expect.

I have probably led you to some painful thoughts already, especially if you are the victim of past abuse. I want to do say to yourself, out loud, right now, “I’m not going to think about that.” If it recurs, say it again; and again, and again. “I’m not going to think about that.”

You’ll soon discover that the thoughts that lead to violence anxiety will diminish initially and eventually disappear over a period of time. They will go away every time you demand that they go away.  

Dealing with domestic-violence anxiety is so simple that many people have trouble accepting it. The most effective way to control such thinking is to say to yourself, out loud, "I will not think about that." Do it as often as necessary every time a domestic-violence thought pops into your mind, "I will not think about that."

Someone said, “That’s easier said than done.”

Not really. You have the innate authority to decide what you want to think about. If a thought causes you to have violence anxiety, don’t think that thought! It’s your choice. As you make that choice again and again, your subconscious remembers how you like to respond and will start to make your response automatically. This could happen in just days or weeks.

Furthermore, you were made with a subconscious mind that has over time formed the opinion that you may actually like being a victim of violence. Since your subconscious wants to please you, it will begin to give you more and more of the thoughts it thinks you like: thoughts that lead to domestic-violence anxiety.

The process of choosing not to dwell on those domestic-violence thoughts will, over time, convince your subconscious that you do not want to think about those things anymore. It’s this process that creates the habit of peace and breaks the habit of being a victim.

At some point, you won't even realize you are thinking those violence-inspired thoughts because your subconscious is automatically responding to the thoughts before they become conscious thoughts.

Nothing could be more effective than having your subconscious mind handle your domestic-violence anxiety for you before you even think about it.

Resources you can use

Help someone you love effectively deal with domestic violence. Take 3 minutes to learn more at http://findingpersonalpeace.com/s023.     

You can use this idea for just about any negative emotion or habit that bothers you in addition to the domestic-violence anxiety.

If you need help with an ongoing domestic violence situation, click http://findingpersonalpeace.com/student/hotlines.pdf to find resources that can help you.

I hope Finding Personal Peace helps you as much dealing with violence anxiety as it helped me with my anger problem.

Rod Peeks

Thanks for reading our blog today. I invite you to respond in several ways: (1) Comment in the space below if you agree or disagree with what I've said. A dialogue could be interesting for all; (2) Share the post with your friends using the buttons below; and (3) sign up to get an email with each new post. There’s a place to do that on the right. Then you won’t have to remember to look for our subsequent posts. Thanks again!

Help Someone You Love Deal with Depression Simply and Effectively

Depression is like being trapped in darkness with no spark of hope anywhere. It makes any relationship virtually impossible to maintain. You can deal with your depression in a simple and effective way in the privacy of your home computer, laptop, iPad, or smart phone.

Ron Wilkins, in his book, Removing Emotional Pain, describes depression as the natural consequence of dwelling on negative thoughts. Unchecked, it inevitably leads to more dangerous emotional and health situations.

Depression can be equally frustrating to those who are around you. They can see all kinds of answers all around you; but you can’t see them in your self-imposed darkness. It’s self-defeating. They see solutions and may tend to blame you because you can’t see them too.

Depression is an emotional downer that can make the simple acts of getting out of bed too much to handle. It can lead to masking behaviors such as drinking or drugs. Intellectually, you know those things are destructive but at least you’re not forced to deal with your negative thoughts when you’re under the influence.

Popular approaches can include meds to lift your mood while encouraging you to relive the painful experiences that caused your depression in the first place.

If, as Wilkins claims, depression is the result of “dwelling on negative thoughts,” then the simple answer is “don’t dwell on negative thoughts!” Such thoughts are the ones that occur over and over again without any real-time provocation. The thoughts are an emotional response, a memory, of a painful event suffered in the past - sometimes many years in the past. When these memories pop into your mind as negative thoughts; and we mentally chew or ruminate on them; it can become just like the original incident all over again and you can become depressed.

But, it’s all thoughts and recollections. It’s not happening all over again in most cases – it’s a memory.

The answer to depression is so simple that many people have trouble accepting it. The most effective way to control the negative thinking that results in recurring depression is "simply choose not to think about it."

When a negative thought that usually leads to depression pops into your mind, simply say to yourself out loud, “I will not think about that.” Do it again if the idea pops up again: “I will not think about that.”

When a negative thought questions your worth, simply say to yourself out loud, “I will not think about that.”

When a negative thought tells you that you are a loser, simply say to yourself out loud, “I will not think about that.”

Someone said, “That’s easier said than done.”

Not really. You have the innate authority to decide what you want to think about. If a thought makes you depressed, don’t think that thought. It’s your choice. As you make that choice again and again, your subconscious remembers how you like to respond and will start to make your response automatically. It’s amazing how quickly this can happen.

Furthermore, you were made with a subconscious mind that has over time formed the opinion that you like being depressed. So its response is to give you more and more selected thoughts to help you be depressed.

The process of choosing not to dwell on those thoughts will, over time, convince your subconscious that you do not want to think about that those things anymore. It’s this process that creates the habit of peace and breaks the habit of depression.

At some point, you won't even realize you are thinking depressing thoughts because your subconscious is automatically responding to the thoughts before they become conscious thoughts.

Nothing could be more effective than having your subconscious mind handle your depression for you before you even think about it.

Resources you can use

Help someone you love deal effectively with depression. Take 3 minutes to learn more at http://findingpersonalpeace.com/s002.

You can use this idea for just about any negative emotion or habit that bothers you including depression.

I hope Finding Personal Peace helps you with your depression as much as it helped me with my anger.

Rod Peeks

Thanks for reading our blog today. I invite you to respond in several ways: (1) Comment in the space below if you agree or disagree with what I've said. A dialogue could be interesting for all; (2) Share the post with your friends using the buttons below; and (3) sign up to get an email with each new post. There’s a place to do that on the right. Then you won’t have to remember to look for our subsequent posts. Thanks again!

Help Someone You Love Deal with Anger Simply and Effectively

Anger is destructive.  Your anger can kill you; not to mention destroy all your important relationships. You can deal with your anger in a way that is far more simple and far more effective than anything you've tried before.

Anger can hurt you physically as much as it can hurt you emotionally. Prolonged anger can cause dangerous increases in hormone levels, blood pressure, and it can cause damage to internal organs. Some studies indicate that anger can increase the likelihood of heart attacks and strokes.

Anger can become addictive in that it produces a sort of "adrenalin thrill" somewhat like you can experience skydiving, bungee jumping, or riding a roller coaster.

Unrestricted anger can result in a "rage" that can cause us to harm ourselves or people around us. I know you've heard of "road rage" and "acts of passion" that resulted in injury or death, sometimes to innocent parties.

Anger can also damage family relationships, social relationships and even cost you your job.

Popular approaches to anger include "taking a timeout" or "punching a pillow" to vent your anger. Some suggest that you "scream" or use exercise as a vent. People are taught conflict resolution, how to be assertive, and how to remove oneself from anger-inducing situations.

These ideas may be good and effective when a threat is immediate and immediate action is required because you need a quick distraction before some harm is done.

There is a far-more-common form of anger that occurs over and over again without any real-time provocation. Such anger is an emotional response to the memory or recollection of an offense suffered in the past - sometimes many years in the past. When these memories pop into your mind as thoughts; and we mentally chew or ruminate on them; it can become just like the original incident all over again.

But, it’s all triggered by memories or thoughts. It’s not happening all over again in most cases.

The solution to your anger is so simple that many people have trouble accepting it. The most effective way to control the negative thinking that results in recurring anger is "simply choose not to think about it."

When a negative thought that you know leads to anger pops into your mind, simply say to yourself out loud, “I will not think about that.” Do it again if the idea pops up again; “I will not think about that.”

Someone said, “That’s easier said than done.”

Not really. You have the inborn authority to decide what you want to think about. If a thought causes you anger, don’t think that thought. As you make that choice again and again, your subconscious remembers how you like to respond and will start to make your response automatically. It’s amazing how quickly this can happen.

Furthermore, you were made with a subconscious mind that has over time formed the opinion that you like being angry. So it tries to give you more opportunities, through selected thoughts, to be angry.

The process of choosing not to dwell on those thoughts will, over time, convince your subconscious that you do not want to think about that those things anymore. It’s this process that creates the habit of peace and breaks the habit of anger.

At some point, you won't even realize you are thinking the anger-provoking thoughts because your subconscious mind responds appropriately before they become conscious thoughts.

Nothing could be more effective than having your subconscious mind handle your anger for you before you even think about it. That is so cool!

Resources you can use

Help someone you love deal effectively with anger. Take 3 minutes to learn more at http://findingpersonalpeace.com/s001.

You can use this idea for just about any negative emotion or habit that bothers you including anger.

I hope Finding Personal Peace helps you as much as it helped me with my anger.

Rod Peeks

Thanks for reading our blog today. I invite you to respond in several ways: (1) Comment in the space below if you agree or disagree with what I've said. A dialogue could be interesting for all; (2) Share the post with your friends using the buttons below; and (3) sign up to get an email with each new post. There’s a place to do that on the right. Then you won’t have to remember to look for our subsequent posts. Thanks again!

Help Someone You Love Deal with Stress Simply and Effectively

Stress is epidemic today. At its worst, stress is the knife-edge that pierces every fiber of our being. Even moderate stress makes virtually any relationship difficult to maintain. But there’s hope. You can deal with your stress in a simple and effective way right there in the privacy of your home computer, laptop, iPad, or smart phone.

Body

Time Magazine describes stress as the cause of up to 85% of the physical illness in our country today.  Stress is often the natural consequence of dwelling on negative thoughts. Unchecked, it inevitably leads to serious illness and even death.

Stress can blind you to the reality around you. You simply can’t see a way out because the pain hurts too much to think rationally. People around you can suggest answers, but you can’t see them through the pain. It is all too easy to transfer your stress to other people at home or at work. If they would just leave you alone! It’s something that you have to work out yourself. You end up hurting all your important relationships because those who love you see solutions and may become frustrated with you because you can’t see them too.

The pain of stress makes the simple acts of getting out of bed too much to handle. It can lead to masking behaviors such as drinking or drugs. Intellectually, you know those things are destructive but at least you don’t feel the pain when you’re under the influence.

Most popular treatments include meds to alter your moods while encouraging you to relive or work through the painful experiences that caused your stress in the first place.

Ron Wilkins claims in “Removing Emotional Pain”, that stress is the natural result of “dwelling on negative thoughts.” If that’s the case, then the simple answer is “don’t dwell on negative thoughts!”

Very often such thoughts occur over and over again without any real-time provocation. The thoughts are an emotional recollection, just a memory, of a past painful event - sometimes many years in the past. When these memories pop into your mind as negative thoughts; and we mentally chew or ruminate on them; it can become just like the original incident all over again.

But, it’s a thought. It’s not happening all over again in most cases – it’s a memory.

The best way of addressing stress is so simple that many people have trouble accepting it. The most effective way to control the negative thinking that results in recurring stress is "simply choose not to think about it."

When a negative thought that you know leads to stress pops into your mind, simply say to yourself out loud, “I will not think about that.” Do it again if the idea pops up again.

When you realize that you’re starting to feel down because of something churning around your mind, simply say to yourself out loud, “I will not think about that.”

If you start to blame yourself because of something you’re only thinking about, simply say to yourself out loud, “I will not think about that.”

Someone said, “That’s easier said than done.”

Not really. You have the built-in authority to decide what you want to think about. If a thought causes you pain, don’t think that thought. It’s your choice! As you make that choice again and again, your subconscious remembers how you like to respond and will start to make your response automatically. It’s amazing how quickly this can happen.

Furthermore, you were made with a subconscious mind that has over time formed the opinion that you like being stressed.  In its effort to give you what you like, your subconscious gives you more and more thoughts that cause you stress when you dwell on them.

The process of choosing not to dwell on those thoughts will, over time, convince your subconscious that you do not want to think about that those things anymore. It’s this process that creates the habit of peace and breaks the habit of stress.

When that happens, you won't even realize you are thinking stressful thoughts because your subconscious handles them automatically before they become conscious thoughts.

Nothing could be more effective than having your subconscious mind handle your stress for you before you even think about it.

Resources you can use

Help someone you love deal effectively with stress. Take 3 minutes right now to learn more at http://findingpersonalpeace.com/s003.

You can use this idea for just about any negative emotion or habit that bothers you including stress.

I hope Finding Personal Peace helps you with your stress as much as it helped me with my anger.

Rod Peeks

Thanks for reading our blog today. I invite you to respond in several ways: (1) Comment in the space below if you agree or disagree with what I’ve said. A dialogue could be interesting for all; (2) Share the post with your friends using the buttons below; and (3) sign up to get an email with each new post. There’s a place to do that on the right. Then you won’t have to remember to look for our subsequent posts. Thanks again!

Help Someone You Love Make Good Decisions Simply and Effectively

Does it seem that every decision you make blows up in your face? It doesn’t have to be that way. You can find personal peace in a simple and effective way right there in the privacy of your home computer, laptop, iPad, or smart phone.

Body

My desk is so cluttered it seems at least half my time is spent looking for things. If your mind is cluttered the same way, it’s really hard to make good decisions. It’s even harder if your mind is cluttered with all sorts of distracting emotions tugging you this way and that.

Decisions made emotionally run a much higher risk of being the wrong decision.

If you’re stressed, you can make bad decisions.

If you’re on an emotional high, you can also make bad decisions. Have you ever had buyer’s remorse? That new car drove so fine and smelled so good and later you realize the payments are SO high.

We’ll use the term “distracted thinking” to refer to both emotionally-high and emotionally-low thinking. Anything that distracts us from doing the best thing is not good for us.

All kinds of things drive our emotions in the negative. Depression, anger, stress, fear, anxiety, phobias, and so on create situations that call for a decision and also create the situation that probably will cause us to make a hurried and often bad decision.

All emotions are triggered by thoughts. When we let those thoughts take away our ability to do what we need to do properly, it can create an unhealthy situation for you.

The thoughts are typically about something that has happened in the past. It other words, it’s a memory that is bothering us.

Right now, I want you to pause and think about something that leaves you feeling anxious or frustrated. But DON’T dwell on it. Immediately say to yourself, out loud, “I’m not going to think about that.” If it recurs, say it again.

You’ll discover that the frustrating thought will go away. It will go away every time you demand that it go away.  

Dealing with distracting thoughts is so simple that many people have trouble accepting it. The most effective way to control negative thinking is to say to yourself, out loud, "I will not think about that." Do it as often as necessary and do it out loud.

Someone said, “That’s easier said than done.”

Not really. You were made with an innate authority to decide what you want to think about. If a thought causes you to be distracted or emotional, don’t think that thought. It’s your choice. As you make that choice again and again, your subconscious remembers how you like to respond and will start to make your response automatically. It’s amazing how quickly this can happen.

Furthermore, you were made with a subconscious mind that has over time formed the opinion that you like making bad decisions. The process of choosing not to dwell on those thoughts will, over time, convince your subconscious that you do not want to think about that those things anymore. It’s this process that creates the habit of peace and breaks the habit of bad decisions.

At some point, you won't even realize you are thinking distracting thoughts because your subconscious is automatically responding to the thoughts before they become conscious thoughts.

Nothing could be more effective than having your subconscious mind handle your distracted and emotional thinking for you before you even think about it.

Resources you can use

Help someone you love make better decisions. Take 3 minutes to learn more at http://findingpersonalpeace.com/s012.

You can use this idea for just about any negative emotion or habit that bothers you including making bad decisions.

I hope Finding Personal Peace helps you as much in making better decisions as it helped me with my anger problem.

Rod Peeks

Thanks for reading our blog today. I invite you to respond in several ways: (1) Comment in the space below if you agree or disagree with what I’ve said. A dialogue could be interesting for all; (2) Share the post with your friends using the buttons below; and (3) sign up to get an email with each new post. There’s a place to do that on the right. Then you won’t have to remember to look for our subsequent posts. Thanks again!

Help Someone You Love Deal With Feeling Like A Loser Simply and Effectively

Do you think of yourself a loser? Everything you touch, or want, or love turns to disaster because you’re a loser. Life doesn’t have to be that way. You can find personal peace in a simple and effective way right there in the privacy of your home computer, laptop, iPad, or smart phone.

Does your life feel something like this?

No matter how hard I try, things just don't get any better. Sometimes I think about suicide. Nobody likes me at school or work. I’m ugly and fat. Why can’t I be pretty (or handsome) like the popular girls (or guys). Why don’t I just end it? Nobody cares anyway. Nobody understands me. Nobody wants to talk to me.

Similar scripts are played out countless times every day. Playing the script doesn’t mean that the person is really inept or fat or ugly or has no friends. It means that they think that all those things are true and the thinking makes it so.

The cause and effect rule doesn’t apply here. We reason that if we think it, it is true; even if there is no logical or factual reason for it to be true.

Your thoughts become your own worst enemy. Thoughts act as a downer on your emotions. Those thoughts can continue for many years. When you let those thoughts take away your ability to do what you need to do, it can create an unhealthy situation for you.

If you let those thoughts lead you to feeling like a loser, to becoming overwhelmed, or to being incapable of dealing with the required daily routine of life, it reinforces the idea that you’re a loser. You need to do something about it.

In a moment, you’ll see a very simple process you can use as often as you like to overcome your “loser” feelings. Because I don’t want to leave you upset, I’m going to tell you about it and then direct you to try it – after you know what to expect.

Most negative emotions, however mild or intense, are initiated by a thought. The thoughts are typically about something that has happened in the past. It other words, it’s a memory that is bothering you - that makes you feel like you blew it again.

Right now, I want you to pause and think about something that leaves you feeling like a loser. But DON’T dwell on it. Immediately say out loud to yourself, “I’m not going to think about that.” If the thought comes back, say it again.

You’ll discover that the negative thought will go away, maybe only for a moment at first. It will go away every time you demand that it go away.  

Getting over being a loser is so simple that many people have trouble accepting it. The most effective way to control negative thinking is to say to yourself, out loud, "I will not think about that." Do it as often as necessary and do it out loud.

In the absence of all the negative thinking, you’ll find more time where you are able to make good decisions about things that will help you become a winner.

Someone said, “That’s easier said than done.”

Not really. You have the innate authority to decide what you want to think about. If a thought causes you to feel like a loser, DON’T think that thought. It’s your choice. As you make that choice again and again, your subconscious remembers how you like to respond and will start to make your response automatically. It’s amazing how quickly this can happen.

Furthermore, you were made with a subconscious mind that has over time formed the opinion that you like dwelling on thoughts that make feel like a loser. The process of choosing not to dwell on those thoughts will, over time, convince your subconscious that you do not want to think about that those things anymore. It’s this process that creates the habit of peace and breaks the habit of being a loser.

At some point, you won't even realize you are thinking “loser” thoughts because your subconscious is automatically responding to the thoughts before they become conscious thoughts. How cool is that?

Nothing could be more effective than having your subconscious mind control your “loser” thinking for you before you even think about it.

Resources you can use

Help someone you love deal with feeling like a loser. Take 3 minutes to learn more at http://findingpersonalpeace.com/s011.

You can use this idea for just about any negative emotion or habit that bothers you including feeling like a loser.

I hope Finding Personal Peace helps you as much to stop feeling like a loser as it helped me with my anger.

Rod Peeks

Help Someone You Love Deal With Chronic Boredom Simply and Effectively

Are you always bored? Do you find yourself day-dreaming most of the time? Are things you need to do not getting done because you can’t focus because of boredom? Life doesn’t have to be that way. You can find personal peace in a simple and effective way right there in the privacy of your home computer, laptop, iPad, or smart phone.

Does your life feel something like this?

No matter how hard I try to focus, I keep thinking about other things. I’m so distracted that I can’t do the things I need to do. My mind is so cluttered with thoughts, sometimes I think I’m losing it. I’m at the point I don’t care anymore. I’m bored!

Similar scripts are played out countless times every day. Playing the script doesn’t mean that the person is really multi-tasking or superior. It means that they are often distracted by all the thoughts that flood our mind every day. We are so distracted that we often don’t get things done that need to be done.

Studies show that you have over 50,000 thoughts a day. And it seems like all of them are in your mind at the same time. Your thoughts become your own worst enemy. Your thoughts interrupt other thoughts.  They keep you from thinking about the things you need to think about. Maybe you use your thoughts as an excuse for NOT doing the things you need to do.  

You can just as easily be distracted by “good” thoughts that pop up at the wrong time.

If the distractions and boredom lead you to anxiety, to becoming chronically bored, or to being incapable of dealing with the daily routine of life; if you can begin to think that you’re a loser because you’re not achieving anything, you need to do something about it.

Boredom is not so much when you’re thinking about nothing; it most likely is when you’re thinking a little bit about everything and you don’t focus on any one thing enough to get engaged.

And since you don’t accomplish very much when you’re bored, you start to feel down on yourself.

Right now, I want you to pause and think about something that leaves you bored. But DON’T dwell on it. Immediately say out loud to yourself, out loud, “I’m not going to think about that.” If the thought comes back, say it again, out loud, , “I’m not going to think about that.”

You’ll quickly discover that the distracting thought disappear, maybe only for a moment at first. It will go away every time you demand that it go away.  When it reappears, you say again, out loud, “I’m not going to think about that.”

Dealing with boredom in this way is so simple that many people have trouble accepting it. The most effective way to control distracted thinking is to say to yourself, out loud, "I will not think about that." Do it as often as necessary and do it out loud.

Someone said, “That’s easier said than done.”

Not really. You have the innate authority to decide what you want to think about. If a thought bores you, DON’T think that thought. It’s your choice! As you make that choice again and again, your subconscious remembers how you like to respond and will start to make your response automatically.

The amazing side-effect of dealing with all these distracting and boring thoughts is that you will begin to have free time that you can use to accomplish the things that you need to do.

Furthermore, you have the gift of a subconscious mind that has over time formed the opinion that you like being bored. And your subconscious, the ever-faithful helper will give you more and more thoughts to distract you and help you be bored.

The process of choosing not to dwell on boring thoughts will, over time, convince your subconscious that you, in fact, do not like being bored. It’s this process that creates the habit of peace and breaks the habit of boredom.

At some point, you won't even realize you are thinking distracting and boring thoughts because your subconscious is automatically responding to the thoughts before they become conscious thoughts. How cool is that?

Nothing could be more effective than having your subconscious mind control your boredom before you even think about it.

Resources you can use

Help someone you love deal boredom simply and effectively. Take 3 minutes to learn more at http://findingpersonalpeace.com/s024.

You can use this idea for just about any negative emotion or habit that bothers you including boredom.

I hope Finding Personal Peace helps you with chronic boredom as much as it helped me with my anger.

Rod Peeks

Help Someone You Love Deal with Anxiety Simply and Effectively - Revisited

Anxiety destroys your peace. It doesn’t matter what you’re anxious about; if you’re anxious, you’re not happy. You can find personal peace in a simple and effective way right there in the privacy of your home computer, laptop, iPad, or smart phone.

Whether relationships, finances, layoffs, kids’ problems, or the threat of terrorism, there's plenty of anxiety around for everyone these days. Most of the time, we can’t do anything about the cause, but we can absolutely do something about how we react.

Anxiety is that "fight or flight" response that kept our ancestors safe from grizzly bears and other scary situations. It’s a natural reaction to life stresses. Adrenaline rushes into our system to prepare us to protect ourselves or run from danger. Anxiety is simply a natural reaction to those very real stresses.

Anxiety sufferers know that it doesn’t take an actual threat to trigger anxiety; just the thought of a threat triggers the hormones.

It doesn’t even have to be a real-time event. We can become anxious again and again by remembering and dwelling on thoughts of past events real or imagined.

Adrenaline causes a bit of a rush; so anxious people will often find other reasons to be anxious to prolong the rush. Worrying gives us the feeling that we’re doing something about the threat when in fact, we’re just spinning our wheels.

You become almost afraid to take a step. You're so nervous about the interview that you just don't go -- you miss the appointment. You think of all the reasons they won’t hire you leading to not getting the job and leading to more things to worry about.
Students will do a good report and then not turn it in because they think that the teacher won’t like it.
Anxious people don’t make good decisions. They avoid things. They let off-the-wall thoughts that distract them from the task. They can’t concentrate. They can’t focus. They can’t deal with the day-to-day of life.

It’s thinking about the issues that disables us with anxiety. If our mind weren’t churning, we would logically conclude that the worst thing that can come out of the interview is not getting the job, and we have another interview tomorrow. But we can't think that logically.

It’s the thinking that triggers anxiety. So the simple solution is to stop the thinking.

In a moment, you’ll see a very simple process you can use as often as you like to overcome your anxiety. Because I don’t want to leave you upset, I’m going to tell you about it and then direct you to try it – after you know what to expect.

Right now, I want you to pause and think about something that leaves you feeling really anxious. But DON’T dwell on it. Immediately say to yourself, out loud, “I’m not going to think about that.” If it recurs, say it again, “I’m not going to think about that.”

You’ll discover that the anxious thought will go away. It will go away every time you demand that it go away.  

This concept is so simple that many people have trouble accepting it. The most effective way to control anxious thinking is to say to yourself, out loud, "I will not think about that." Do it as often as necessary and do it out loud.

Someone said, “That’s easier said than done.”

Not really. You have the innate authority to decide what you want to think about. If a thought causes you anxiety, don’t think that thought. It’s your choice. As you make that choice again and again, your subconscious remembers how you like to respond and will start to make your response automatically. It’s amazing how quickly this can happen.

Furthermore, you were made with a subconscious mind that has over time formed the opinion that you like being anxious. Your subconscious will work overtime to give you all the thoughts it thinks you want to help you enjoy being anxious.

The process of choosing not to dwell on those thoughts will, over time, convince your subconscious that you do not want to think about that those things anymore. It’s this process that creates the habit of peace and breaks the habit of anxiety.

 The process of choosing not to dwell on those thoughts will, over time, convince your subconscious that you do not want to think about that those things anymore. It’s this process that creates the habit of peace and breaks the habit of anxiety.

At some point, you won't even realize you are thinking negative thoughts because your subconscious is automatically responding to the thoughts before they become conscious thoughts and before they cause anxiety.

Nothing could be more effective than having your subconscious mind handle your anxious thoughts for you before you even consciously think about it.

Resources you can use

If you could help someone you love deal with anxiety, would you take 3 minutes to learn more at http://findingpersonalpeace.com/s009?

You can use this idea for just about any negative emotion or habit that bothers you including anxiety.

I hope Finding Personal Peace helps with your anxiety as much as it helped me with my anger.

Rod Peeks

Help Someone You Love Deal With Being an Abuser Simply and Effectively

Perpetrators of abuse are often driven to act out their anger on others – on their victims. It may take professional help to deal with deep-seated issues. Or it may not. You can find personal peace in a simple and effective way right there in the privacy of your home computer, laptop, iPad, or smart phone.

If you’re an abuser . . .

• You may demonstrate impulsive behavior. Very likely there is little thought given to the consequences of their behavior. Some simple trigger may have caused the thought that resulted in abuse.
• You may exhibit rapid mood changes that may result in violent behavior. A word or action may trigger the thought the ends in abuse.
• You may be chronically depressed. Rational thought may be overwhelmed by the depression. Some thought in the darkness of depression may be the trigger of abuse.
• You may be trying to transfer some of your pain to your victims. Again there would almost always be negative thoughts feeding the depression and the abuse.

A suicidal abuser may rationalize that since he’s probably going to die anyway, it may be easier to abuse. What’s to lose?

A victim of abuse is much more likely to become an abuser. You excuse your actions by rationalizing that you can’t help it.

Drugs and alcohol may lead to abusive behavior. The desire to drink or use drugs usually begins with some thought or desire and is often used as an excuse for the behavior.

A spousal abuser may use the excuse that the thought of the shame of separation justifies the use of force to keep the spouse under their power.

A common thread in all these examples is that a thought serves as a trigger to the abusive act. If the abuser is so inclined, he/she can probably predict the buildup to an abusive episode by recognizing those thoughts that serve as triggers.

The simple fact is that the abuser can recognize the thought and make the decision to NOT think that thought.

You will soon discover that the negative thought leading to abuse will go away. It will go away every time you demand that it go away.  

If you're an abuser, this solution is so simple that many people have trouble accepting it. The most effective way to control the negative thinking that leads to abusing someone is to say to yourself, out loud, "I will not to think about that." Do it as often as necessary and do it out loud, "I will not to think about that."

Someone said, “That’s easier said than done.”

Not really. You have the built-in authority to decide what you want to think about. If you recognize a thought that typically leads to abusing someone, don’t think that thought. It’s your choice. In the moments of clarity that comes in the absence of that thought, it’s possible to remove yourself from the situation to avoid abusing someone.

As you make that choice again and again, your subconscious remembers how you like to respond and will start to make your response automatically. It’s amazing how quickly this can happen.

Furthermore, you were made with a subconscious mind that has over time formed the opinion that you like being an abuser. And your ever-helpful subconscious will continue to give you thoughts that it thinks you like.

The process of choosing not to dwell on those thoughts will, over time, convince your subconscious that you do not want to think about that those things anymore. It’s this process that creates the habit of peace and breaks the habit of hurting others.

At some point, you won't even realize you are thinking negative thoughts because your subconscious is automatically responding to the thoughts before they become conscious thoughts.

Nothing could be more effective than having your subconscious mind handle your abusive thoughts for you before you even think about it.

Resources you can use

Help someone you love deal with being an abuser. Take 3 minutes to learn more at http://findingpersonalpeace.com/s008.

If you need help dealing with being an abuser, click http://findingpersonalpeace.com/student/hotlines.pdf to find resources that can help you.

You can use this idea for just about any negative emotion or habit that bothers you including being an abuser.

I hope Finding Personal Peace helps you as much with being an abuser as it helped me with my anger.

Rod Peeks

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