Help Someone You Love Deal With Domestic Violence Simply and Effectively

Victims of ongoing domestic violence really should get help immediately. See the link at the bottom. If the abuse has ended but the memories persist, you can find personal peace in a simple, effective, and painless way right in the privacy of your home computer, laptop, iPad, or smart phone.

People carry deeply embedded memories of past domestic violence. These memories make the recollection almost as painful as the original offense.

Domestic violence is particularly destructive because it touches so many areas in our lives.

(1)   It’s a trust issue when someone in whom we trusted betrayed us by hurting us.

(2)   It’s a fear issue when we worry about a recurrence of the domestic violence even though it may have been years ago.

(3)   It’s a self-esteem issue when we blame ourselves for somehow bringing the violence upon ourselves or for making our abuser angry.

(4)   It’s an anger issue when rage against the outrage of domestic violence against us becomes overwhelming.

(5)   It’s a relationship issue when the domestic violence done against us blocks our ability to have intimacy with another person even though they weren’t part of the original abuse.

(6)   It’s a loss issue in that something valuable has been taken from you by domestic violence that can never be returned.

The domestic violence leading to our anxiety may have occurred in a place that we expected to be secure: in our home, in our marriage or relationship. This is particularly offensive because it damages our ability to trust again.

All these reactions are triggered by a thought that brings the act of violence to the forefront of our attention once again. The thought could be triggered by a word, a smell, a sound, almost anything.

If we let those thoughts lead us to violence anxiety, to becoming overwhelmed, or to being incapable of dealing with the daily routine of life, we need to do something about it.

In a moment, you’ll see a very simple process you can use as often as you like to overcome your violence-inspired anxiety. Because I don’t want to leave you upset, I’m going to tell you about it and then direct you to try it – after you know what to expect.

I have probably led you to some painful thoughts already, especially if you are the victim of past abuse. I want to do say to yourself, out loud, right now, “I’m not going to think about that.” If it recurs, say it again; and again, and again. “I’m not going to think about that.”

You’ll soon discover that the thoughts that lead to violence anxiety will diminish initially and eventually disappear over a period of time. They will go away every time you demand that they go away.  

Dealing with domestic-violence anxiety is so simple that many people have trouble accepting it. The most effective way to control such thinking is to say to yourself, out loud, "I will not think about that." Do it as often as necessary every time a domestic-violence thought pops into your mind, "I will not think about that."

Someone said, “That’s easier said than done.”

Not really. You have the innate authority to decide what you want to think about. If a thought causes you to have violence anxiety, don’t think that thought! It’s your choice. As you make that choice again and again, your subconscious remembers how you like to respond and will start to make your response automatically. This could happen in just days or weeks.

Furthermore, you were made with a subconscious mind that has over time formed the opinion that you may actually like being a victim of violence. Since your subconscious wants to please you, it will begin to give you more and more of the thoughts it thinks you like: thoughts that lead to domestic-violence anxiety.

The process of choosing not to dwell on those domestic-violence thoughts will, over time, convince your subconscious that you do not want to think about those things anymore. It’s this process that creates the habit of peace and breaks the habit of being a victim.

At some point, you won't even realize you are thinking those violence-inspired thoughts because your subconscious is automatically responding to the thoughts before they become conscious thoughts.

Nothing could be more effective than having your subconscious mind handle your domestic-violence anxiety for you before you even think about it.

Resources you can use

Help someone you love effectively deal with domestic violence. Take 3 minutes to learn more at http://findingpersonalpeace.com/s023.     

You can use this idea for just about any negative emotion or habit that bothers you in addition to the domestic-violence anxiety.

If you need help with an ongoing domestic violence situation, click http://findingpersonalpeace.com/student/hotlines.pdf to find resources that can help you.

I hope Finding Personal Peace helps you as much dealing with violence anxiety as it helped me with my anger problem.

Rod Peeks

Thanks for reading our blog today. I invite you to respond in several ways: (1) Comment in the space below if you agree or disagree with what I've said. A dialogue could be interesting for all; (2) Share the post with your friends using the buttons below; and (3) sign up to get an email with each new post. There’s a place to do that on the right. Then you won’t have to remember to look for our subsequent posts. Thanks again!

Help Someone You Love Deal With Chronic Boredom Simply and Effectively

Are you always bored? Do you find yourself day-dreaming most of the time? Are things you need to do not getting done because you can’t focus because of boredom? Life doesn’t have to be that way. You can find personal peace in a simple and effective way right there in the privacy of your home computer, laptop, iPad, or smart phone.

Does your life feel something like this?

No matter how hard I try to focus, I keep thinking about other things. I’m so distracted that I can’t do the things I need to do. My mind is so cluttered with thoughts, sometimes I think I’m losing it. I’m at the point I don’t care anymore. I’m bored!

Similar scripts are played out countless times every day. Playing the script doesn’t mean that the person is really multi-tasking or superior. It means that they are often distracted by all the thoughts that flood our mind every day. We are so distracted that we often don’t get things done that need to be done.

Studies show that you have over 50,000 thoughts a day. And it seems like all of them are in your mind at the same time. Your thoughts become your own worst enemy. Your thoughts interrupt other thoughts.  They keep you from thinking about the things you need to think about. Maybe you use your thoughts as an excuse for NOT doing the things you need to do.  

You can just as easily be distracted by “good” thoughts that pop up at the wrong time.

If the distractions and boredom lead you to anxiety, to becoming chronically bored, or to being incapable of dealing with the daily routine of life; if you can begin to think that you’re a loser because you’re not achieving anything, you need to do something about it.

Boredom is not so much when you’re thinking about nothing; it most likely is when you’re thinking a little bit about everything and you don’t focus on any one thing enough to get engaged.

And since you don’t accomplish very much when you’re bored, you start to feel down on yourself.

Right now, I want you to pause and think about something that leaves you bored. But DON’T dwell on it. Immediately say out loud to yourself, out loud, “I’m not going to think about that.” If the thought comes back, say it again, out loud, , “I’m not going to think about that.”

You’ll quickly discover that the distracting thought disappear, maybe only for a moment at first. It will go away every time you demand that it go away.  When it reappears, you say again, out loud, “I’m not going to think about that.”

Dealing with boredom in this way is so simple that many people have trouble accepting it. The most effective way to control distracted thinking is to say to yourself, out loud, "I will not think about that." Do it as often as necessary and do it out loud.

Someone said, “That’s easier said than done.”

Not really. You have the innate authority to decide what you want to think about. If a thought bores you, DON’T think that thought. It’s your choice! As you make that choice again and again, your subconscious remembers how you like to respond and will start to make your response automatically.

The amazing side-effect of dealing with all these distracting and boring thoughts is that you will begin to have free time that you can use to accomplish the things that you need to do.

Furthermore, you have the gift of a subconscious mind that has over time formed the opinion that you like being bored. And your subconscious, the ever-faithful helper will give you more and more thoughts to distract you and help you be bored.

The process of choosing not to dwell on boring thoughts will, over time, convince your subconscious that you, in fact, do not like being bored. It’s this process that creates the habit of peace and breaks the habit of boredom.

At some point, you won't even realize you are thinking distracting and boring thoughts because your subconscious is automatically responding to the thoughts before they become conscious thoughts. How cool is that?

Nothing could be more effective than having your subconscious mind control your boredom before you even think about it.

Resources you can use

Help someone you love deal boredom simply and effectively. Take 3 minutes to learn more at http://findingpersonalpeace.com/s024.

You can use this idea for just about any negative emotion or habit that bothers you including boredom.

I hope Finding Personal Peace helps you with chronic boredom as much as it helped me with my anger.

Rod Peeks

Help Someone You Love Deal with Anxiety Simply and Effectively - Revisited

Anxiety destroys your peace. It doesn’t matter what you’re anxious about; if you’re anxious, you’re not happy. You can find personal peace in a simple and effective way right there in the privacy of your home computer, laptop, iPad, or smart phone.

Whether relationships, finances, layoffs, kids’ problems, or the threat of terrorism, there's plenty of anxiety around for everyone these days. Most of the time, we can’t do anything about the cause, but we can absolutely do something about how we react.

Anxiety is that "fight or flight" response that kept our ancestors safe from grizzly bears and other scary situations. It’s a natural reaction to life stresses. Adrenaline rushes into our system to prepare us to protect ourselves or run from danger. Anxiety is simply a natural reaction to those very real stresses.

Anxiety sufferers know that it doesn’t take an actual threat to trigger anxiety; just the thought of a threat triggers the hormones.

It doesn’t even have to be a real-time event. We can become anxious again and again by remembering and dwelling on thoughts of past events real or imagined.

Adrenaline causes a bit of a rush; so anxious people will often find other reasons to be anxious to prolong the rush. Worrying gives us the feeling that we’re doing something about the threat when in fact, we’re just spinning our wheels.

You become almost afraid to take a step. You're so nervous about the interview that you just don't go -- you miss the appointment. You think of all the reasons they won’t hire you leading to not getting the job and leading to more things to worry about.
Students will do a good report and then not turn it in because they think that the teacher won’t like it.
Anxious people don’t make good decisions. They avoid things. They let off-the-wall thoughts that distract them from the task. They can’t concentrate. They can’t focus. They can’t deal with the day-to-day of life.

It’s thinking about the issues that disables us with anxiety. If our mind weren’t churning, we would logically conclude that the worst thing that can come out of the interview is not getting the job, and we have another interview tomorrow. But we can't think that logically.

It’s the thinking that triggers anxiety. So the simple solution is to stop the thinking.

In a moment, you’ll see a very simple process you can use as often as you like to overcome your anxiety. Because I don’t want to leave you upset, I’m going to tell you about it and then direct you to try it – after you know what to expect.

Right now, I want you to pause and think about something that leaves you feeling really anxious. But DON’T dwell on it. Immediately say to yourself, out loud, “I’m not going to think about that.” If it recurs, say it again, “I’m not going to think about that.”

You’ll discover that the anxious thought will go away. It will go away every time you demand that it go away.  

This concept is so simple that many people have trouble accepting it. The most effective way to control anxious thinking is to say to yourself, out loud, "I will not think about that." Do it as often as necessary and do it out loud.

Someone said, “That’s easier said than done.”

Not really. You have the innate authority to decide what you want to think about. If a thought causes you anxiety, don’t think that thought. It’s your choice. As you make that choice again and again, your subconscious remembers how you like to respond and will start to make your response automatically. It’s amazing how quickly this can happen.

Furthermore, you were made with a subconscious mind that has over time formed the opinion that you like being anxious. Your subconscious will work overtime to give you all the thoughts it thinks you want to help you enjoy being anxious.

The process of choosing not to dwell on those thoughts will, over time, convince your subconscious that you do not want to think about that those things anymore. It’s this process that creates the habit of peace and breaks the habit of anxiety.

 The process of choosing not to dwell on those thoughts will, over time, convince your subconscious that you do not want to think about that those things anymore. It’s this process that creates the habit of peace and breaks the habit of anxiety.

At some point, you won't even realize you are thinking negative thoughts because your subconscious is automatically responding to the thoughts before they become conscious thoughts and before they cause anxiety.

Nothing could be more effective than having your subconscious mind handle your anxious thoughts for you before you even consciously think about it.

Resources you can use

If you could help someone you love deal with anxiety, would you take 3 minutes to learn more at http://findingpersonalpeace.com/s009?

You can use this idea for just about any negative emotion or habit that bothers you including anxiety.

I hope Finding Personal Peace helps with your anxiety as much as it helped me with my anger.

Rod Peeks

Invest in Your Relationships

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Very few things in life just happen. It almost always takes an investment – of our time; of our energy; of our emotions; of our money.

Invest time in your relationships

This is especially true of relationships with your children. They don’t care that you’re working two jobs to provide for them. Your child needs a little bit of you each day – one-on-one. Your spouse needs to have some of your time just to know that the relationship is important to you. Shared time doesn't count nearly as much as individual time. Sitting in the same room watching TV is a start. Reading a book to your child is better. Working together on chores is a great way to spend time with spouse or children. Be creative. There’s nothing more important than investing time in each relationship that’s important to you.

Invest energy in your relationships

Go out of your way to surprise your spouse or children occasionally. Put a loving note in the suitcase or briefcase. Put an encouraging, happy note in the lunchboxes. Offer a shoulder or neck massage to your spouse. Who knows what that might lead to. Offer a shoulder to cry on or an ear to hear their frustration. It may take a lot of energy just to listen without offering advice.

Don’t just coast and expect the relationship to prosper. Invest energy. You may have to spend energy thinking of ways to invest more time.

Invest emotions in your relationships

Let yourself be vulnerable. Don’t mask your loving emotions in your relationships. Express love with no expectations of return. Express unconditional love.

If you’re apart, make sure they know you’re thinking about them. Hide your disappointment except in a teachable moment with children. Be willing to reach out without expecting a reach back.

Invest money in your relationships

This is last because it may be the least important. It certainly shouldn't be used to replace any of the other investments. Spend all you can reasonably spend on anniversaries and birthdays with emphasis on the word reasonable. If money is tight, wrap the package in time, energy, and emotion. A handmade card or note from your heart will mean more than Hallmark.

I know a couple of families with limited resources and large families. They celebrate Christmas more in worship and time together than in giving gifts to everyone. But birthdays are special. That’s one person’s special day and they make that a big deal.

Don’t expect a return on your investment

If you expect a return you might be disappointed sometimes. Expect nothing, but rejoice in everything. But I’m pretty comfortable predicting that if you invest diligently, you will have a wonderful return.

If you find yourself reacting negatively to these investments, examine your thinking. Be sure to apply the principles of my last posting (Click here) before you react outwardly.

You may be right. Perhaps your partner didn't react well to your investment. But be careful how you react. Would you rather be right or alone?

If your negative thinking is hurting your relationship, then take control of your thinking. That’s what Finding Personal Peace teaches you to do.

Invest, invest, invest. The return may be life-changing.

All the best,



www.findingpersonalpeace.com

Thanks for reading our blog today. I invite you to respond in several ways: (1) Comment in the space below if you agree or disagree with what I’ve said. A dialogue could be interesting for all; (2) Share the post with your friends. There are buttons below for Facebook, Twitter, and other social media sites; and (3) sign up for an email with each new post. There’s a place to do that on the right. Then you won’t have to remember to look for subsequent posts. Thanks again!