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| Room for your Relationships |
Relationships need rooms in which to grow to be healthy and fulfilling
Why the “room” metaphor?
Rooms establish boundaries. Big rooms; small rooms; unrestricted rooms; confining rooms.
Take a look at the rooms you've built for your relationships. Do they enhance or stifle the relationship? They don’t have to be the same for all your relationships; but experience says that they have similarities because we all tend to patterns. Let’s look at characteristics of a couple of the rooms.
Rooms that Restrict
When you consider your relationships, do your rooms restrict or limit your partner? Some of us want to keep our partners in narrow boundaries. Maybe it feeds from our uncertainty. Maybe we enjoy the power we would like to have over someone. Maybe we resist change.
Do you use your relationship to control or manage your partner? Do you expect your partner to fit into the mould you’ve created? Do you validate the relationship by how well your partner conforms to the terms you dictate.
Do you give your partner the freedom to make their own decisions; or do you make those decisions yourself?
If you’ve designed a room that confines your partner, your relationship is most likely doomed to fail.
Rooms that Grow
Your relationships need to have room to grow.
Children – as your children mature, the rooms need to grow to accommodate their new maturity and the ability to make their own choices, for example. You can’t healthfully keep a 15-year-old in a room designed for a 5-year old.
Spouses – All of us need the space to explore interests and activities that are fulfilling or expansive for us. It takes an attitude of trust to encourage new ventures for a partner. Stepping outside the room does not break the relationship; it just reveals another layer of beauty or interest in the partner. Let the room - let the partner - grow.
Encourage your partners to expand their lives. Make a sincere effort to enjoy their expanding world. It might be necessary to let them move into another room where you don’t want to go. Their being there doesn’t necessarily damage your relationship as long as you are supportive.
Why the Metaphor?
Rooms can be comfort zones. If each partner knows where their partner’s boundaries are, they have freedom and flexibility to live within those walls. If there are no walls – no boundaries – how can a partner know when they step into uncomfortable space for their partner?
Rooms can be defined through open communication. Share your feelings and attitudes on a wide range of subjects – anything that comes up. You’ll soon know where the “no-step” areas are. It’s okay to have some protected corners in your room because knowing they’re there gives the partners freedom to move everywhere else.
One thinks that the “room” concept is simply providing for a safe environment for a relationship to grow and prosper.
Consider your Thoughts
If you find yourself thinking thoughts that limit your partner or limit your participation in one of their rooms, it may be time to consider and dismiss those thoughts, especially if you value the relationship.
Managing such thoughts is the focal point of Finding Personal Peace. If you find peace in your relationships, you’ll have great peace in your life
Go for it!
www.findingpersonalpeace.com
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