Narcissism – Death Knell for Relationships

Narcissim - The Peacock Syndrome

There's no room in a relationship for a peacock!

Two definitions for narcissism:

1. Excessive or erotic interest in oneself and one's physical appearance.


2. Extreme selfishness, with a grandiose view of one's own talents and a craving for admiration.

The danger of narcissism to a relationship is that the narcissist is focused only on himself. Life is a mirror in which he sees himself and all his wonderful attributes or his needs.

Narcissists disconnect from themselves as children and lack any inner sense of self. They seek validation from partners in relationships but they’re not interested in giving validation because that takes the focus away from themselves.

Love is not the objective of their relationships. To narcissists, relationships provide that someone is always present for the following:

• Someone to cater to their needs


• Someone to stroke their ego


• Someone to control and use at their convenience and disposal

To the narcissist, the partners is seen as nothing more than and extension of himself. Men will often select a trophy wife to display their sexual prowess – just a status symbol. Females are typically attracted to wealthy men who can support their obsession with image and status.

The narcissist will often have a significant other who is always there to cater, stroke, and submit as needed while the narcissist seeks constantly changing and exciting validation otherwise. They always need someone to fall back on.

It’s hard for many partners to accept the fact that they are not an object of love for the narcissist. They’re just a pawn; a source of supply to keep them stroked – nothing more, nothing less.

What if you’re the narcissist?

1. When you find yourself feeling a lack of empathy toward your partner, you can take those thoughts captive.


2. When you find yourself feeling a willingness to exploit your partner, you can control those thoughts.


3. When you find yourself putting your partner on a pedestal to make yourself look better, you can choose to stop dwelling on that.


4. You may find yourself exaggerating your accomplishments and trying to associate with other 'high level' people. Don’t give time for those thoughts in your life.


5. You may exhibit an excessive sense of entitlement, looking for preferential treatment as a right. You don’t have to spend time on those feelings.


6. When you find yourself focusing craving admiration, you can control that thinking.


7. When you find yourself jealous of the accomplishments of your partner; and even becoming angry at the successes of others, you don’t have to give in to that thinking.

The premise is that narcissistic behavior begins with a thought and you don’t have to deal with thoughts that are potentially harmful to you or your relationship.

We talk about that in Finding Personal Peace.

Here's to building strong relationships,



www.findingpersonalpeace.com

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