Don't Be the Wedge[/caption]Make a list of your important relationships. Don’t rank them; just list them.
On a scale of 1 to 10 (insignificant to incredibly important) rank each of those relationships. How important are they to you? Write the number down for each.
Now, on the same scale, rank how you think the other person might view each relationship from their perspective. Be honest. This is just between you and me.
If your ranking is the same as your partner’s; that’s pretty good unless both your numbers are so low you have to wonder why either of you should remain in the relationship.
If your ranking is less that your partner’s or if your ranking is higher than your partner’s, you may have a problem. Either your partner is getting the short straw or you are.
What to do?
If your ranking is significantly higher than your partner, you may be paying sufficient attention to the relationship; but not necessarily the right kind of attention. The time and energy you’re investing may be directed in a way that doesn't meet the needs of your partner.
- You’re working hard to provide nice possessions and your partner wants more of your time.
- You’re full of grand ideas for fun and fulfillment; but your partner is always worrying about getting the bills paid.
- You talk with your partner all the time; but the conversation is mostly superficial, not really getting to substantive issues. So you don’t really know your partner’s heart.
- You spend lots of time doing things around the house; but they’re the things you want to do rather than the things your partner wants done.
If your ranking is significantly lower than your partner, you may not be responding to your partner’s attempts to please you.
- You work more than you really need to work to avoid more intimate contact with your partner.
- You don’t appear to be grateful for the things your partner does for you.
- Your partner’s ideas for fun and fulfillment are met by your excuses for not doing them; or maybe just a lack of any response.
- You don’t participate in the decision-making process in the partnership leaving the responsibility to your partner.
This layman’s analysis may not fit anything in your relationships; but somebody needs to pay a little attention to the balance in your relationship. There’s nobody better to do that than you. Make your relationships a priority for you.
You’re can only change yourself – you can’t change your partner
Over the next few days, take note of your thinking. If you discover thoughts that appear to be a wedge in your relationships, you can stop thinking about those things.
If you discover that you’re routinely putting down your partner and/or their suggestions, you can change your reactions.
If you habitually make excuses, pass off decisions, shortchange on time, or fail to appreciate or respect your partner, you can break those habits.
How? Take a good look at Finding Personal Peace. It can show you how to change your thinking.
Make a priority of working toward balance in your relationships. Work toward improving the relationship for both of you. The rewards are priceless.
God bless,
www.findingpersonalpeace.com
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