Why Do Relationships Fail?

Relationships - Spouse - Family

I Googled reasons why relationship fail and found these to be interesting.

1.  You’re playing to win

Competition between partners is one of the deadliest killers of relations. This competition is often fostered by because one of the partners has compelling thought patterns that simply do not allow them to second-best. These thoughts, while not necessarily negative, are very often harmful to both parties.

2.  You don’t trust your partner

In some cases, the broken trust is earned thought infidelity or deceit. In many cases the trust is a result of negative thinking that tells you that you or your partners are not worthy of being trusted; or the lack trust comes from reasons 3 or 4.

3.  You don’t talk

Negative thinking tells you that your opinion is not worth expressing. Or, negative thinking convinces you that you are protecting your partner by shielding them from the truth. Or, negative thinking makes you think that you will be belittled or embarrassed by sharing the truth.

4.  You don’t listen

Listening is hard. Negative thinking tells you that your opinion is more important than that of your partner. Negative thinking says they don’t have the right to criticize you.

5.  You spend like a single person

Negative thinking tells you that you earned the money; therefore you have the right to spend it as you choose. Negative thinking also causes you to insist on spending on a lifestyle that your partner does not share. Negative thinking tells you that your partner is trying to control you by insisting on controlling your sending patterns.

6.  You’re afraid of breaking up

Negative thinking tells you that you’ll never find another relationship like this one. You may be able to generate the appearance of a happy relationship for awhile, but your negative thinking will color all parts of the relationship and eventually cause it to break up. See 7.

7.  You’re dependent

Negative thinking tells you that it’s your partner’s responsibility to make you complete; that you cannot possibly live without them. Negative thinking may lead you to blame your partner because your needs are not being met. Either way, this creates a great deal of unreasonable pressure on

8.  You expect happiness

Negative thinking tells you that something is wrong if you’re not happy. See 6 and 7..

9.  You never fight

A good argument is essential, every now and then. In part, arguing helps bring out the little stuff before it becomes major, but also, fighting expresses anger which is a perfectly normal part of a human’s emotional make-up. Negative thinking tells you that anger or even disagreement will end the relationship.

10. You expect it to be easy/you expect it to be hard

There are two deeply problematic areas of negative thinking that damage a relationship. One is that a relationship should be easy, that if you really love each other and are meant to be together, it will work itself out. The other is that anything worth having is going to be hard — and that therefore if it’s hard, it must be worth having. To base your relationship on either extreme can cause problems.

It’s not easy to have a great relationship. But it’s not impossible, either — it takes some work, of course, but it’s good work, work that’s a joy when everything comes together.

A lot of times, though, the work isn't enough. We get in our own way with negative thinking and attitudes about relationships that are not only wrong, but often work to undermine our relationships no matter how hard we work at it.

Get your negative thinking under control and watch your relationship improve.

All the best,



www.findingpersonalpeace.com

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