Getting a Return on Your Relationships?[/caption]Very few things in life just happen. It almost always takes an investment – of our time; of our energy; of our emotions; of our money.
Invest time in your relationships
This is especially true of relationships with your children. They don’t care that you’re working two jobs to provide for them. Your child needs a little bit of you each day – one-on-one. Your spouse needs to have some of your time just to know that the relationship is important to you. Shared time doesn't count nearly as much as individual time. Sitting in the same room watching TV is a start. Reading a book to your child is better. Working together on chores is a great way to spend time with spouse or children. Be creative. There’s nothing more important than investing time in each relationship that’s important to you.
Invest energy in your relationships
Go out of your way to surprise your spouse or children occasionally. Put a loving note in the suitcase or briefcase. Put an encouraging, happy note in the lunchboxes. Offer a shoulder or neck massage to your spouse. Who knows what that might lead to. Offer a shoulder to cry on or an ear to hear their frustration. It may take a lot of energy just to listen without offering advice.
Don’t just coast and expect the relationship to prosper. Invest energy. You may have to spend energy thinking of ways to invest more time.
Invest emotions in your relationships
Let yourself be vulnerable. Don’t mask your loving emotions in your relationships. Express love with no expectations of return. Express unconditional love.
If you’re apart, make sure they know you’re thinking about them. Hide your disappointment except in a teachable moment with children. Be willing to reach out without expecting a reach back.
Invest money in your relationships
This is last because it may be the least important. It certainly shouldn't be used to replace any of the other investments. Spend all you can reasonably spend on anniversaries and birthdays with emphasis on the word reasonable. If money is tight, wrap the package in time, energy, and emotion. A handmade card or note from your heart will mean more than Hallmark.
I know a couple of families with limited resources and large families. They celebrate Christmas more in worship and time together than in giving gifts to everyone. But birthdays are special. That’s one person’s special day and they make that a big deal.
Don’t expect a return on your investment
If you expect a return you might be disappointed sometimes. Expect nothing, but rejoice in everything. But I’m pretty comfortable predicting that if you invest diligently, you will have a wonderful return.
If you find yourself reacting negatively to these investments, examine your thinking. Be sure to apply the principles of my last posting (Click here) before you react outwardly.
You may be right. Perhaps your partner didn't react well to your investment. But be careful how you react. Would you rather be right or alone?
If your negative thinking is hurting your relationship, then take control of your thinking. That’s what Finding Personal Peace teaches you to do.
Invest, invest, invest. The return may be life-changing.
All the best,
www.findingpersonalpeace.com
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