Righteous Anger or Righteous Excuse

Anger is destructive.  Your anger can kill you; not to mention destroy all your important relationships. You can deal with your anger in a way that is far more simple and far more effective than anything you've tried before.

Anger is a completely normal, usually healthy, human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to all kinds of problems; problems at work, in your personal relationships, and in the overall quality of your life. And it can make you feel as though you're at the mercy of an unpredictable and powerful emotion.

Righteous Anger or Righteous Excuse

A lot of us grew up believing anger was a "bad" emotion. But it’s okay to feel anger when an outrageous offense demands a response. You can express those feelings righteously! Thankfully, God's Word sets clear parameters for getting peeved, one of which is don’t let the sun go down on your anger. Get angry if you have to, but get over it.

We need to be careful not to use “righteous anger” as an excuse for all our outbursts. Just know that Scripture contains many more verses warning people against blowing their cool than verses advocating such behavior.

Your Anger can Hurt You

Let’s face some harsh facts. Your anger can hurt you physically as much as it can hurt you emotionally. Prolonged anger can cause dangerous increases in hormone levels, blood pressure, and it can cause damage to internal organs. Some studies indicate that anger can increase the likelihood of heart attacks and strokes.

Anger can become addictive in that it produces a sort of "adrenalin thrill" somewhat like you can experience skydiving, bungee jumping, or riding a roller coaster.

Unrestricted anger can result in a "rage" that can cause us to harm ourselves or people around us. I know you've heard of "road rage" and "acts of passion" that resulted in injury or death, sometimes to innocent parties.

Common approaches to anger

Popular approaches to anger include "taking a timeout" or "punching a pillow" to vent your anger. Some suggest that you "scream" or use exercise as a vent. People are taught conflict resolution, how to be assertive, and how to remove oneself from anger-inducing situations.

These ideas may be effective and appropriate when a threat is immediate and immediate action is required because you need a quick distraction before some harm is done.

A More Pervasive Anger

There is a far-more-common form of anger that occurs over and over again without any real-time provocation. Such anger is an emotional response to the memory or recollection of an offense suffered in the past - sometimes many years in the past. When these memories pop into your mind as thoughts; and we mentally chew or ruminate on them; it can become just like the original incident all over again.

But, it’s all triggered by memories or thoughts. It’s not happening all over again in most cases.

Some will tell you to “work through your anger.” Analyze your angry and try to understand why you are angry and how you can deal with it. This doesn’t quite make sense. If your thoughts are making you angry, wouldn’t it likely make you more angry as you try to deal with each of the thoughts?

The solution to your anger is so simple that many people have trouble accepting it. The most effective way to control the negative thinking that results in recurring anger is "simply choose not to think about it." It can be very effective to name the thought, as in "“I will not think about _____________.”

When a negative thought that you know leads to anger pops into your mind, simply say to yourself out loud, “I will not think about that.” Do it again if the idea pops up again; “I will not think about that.”

Someone said, “That’s easier said than done.”

Not really. You have the built-in authority to decide what you want to think about. If a thought causes you anger, don’t think that thought. As you make that choice again and again, your subconscious remembers how you like to respond and will start to make your response automatically. It’s amazing how quickly this can happen.

Furthermore, you were made with a subconscious mind that has over time formed the opinion that you like being angry. So it tries to give you more opportunities, through selected thoughts, to be angry.

The process of choosing not to dwell on those thoughts will, over time, convince your subconscious that you do not want to think about that those things anymore. It’s this process that creates the habit of peace and breaks the habit of anger.

At some point, you won't even realize you are thinking the anger-provoking thoughts because your subconscious mind responds appropriately before they become conscious thoughts.

Nothing could be more effective than having your subconscious mind handle your anger for you before you even think about it. That is so cool!

Resources you can use

There’s a way to deal effectively with anger. Take 3 minutes to learn more at http://findingpersonalpeace.com/r000.

You can use this idea for just about any negative emotion or habit that bothers you including anger.

I hope Finding Personal Peace helps you as much as it helped me with my anger.

Rod Peeks

Help Someone You Love Deal with Anger Simply and Effectively

Anger is destructive.  Your anger can kill you; not to mention destroy all your important relationships. You can deal with your anger in a way that is far more simple and far more effective than anything you've tried before.

Anger can hurt you physically as much as it can hurt you emotionally. Prolonged anger can cause dangerous increases in hormone levels, blood pressure, and it can cause damage to internal organs. Some studies indicate that anger can increase the likelihood of heart attacks and strokes.

Anger can become addictive in that it produces a sort of "adrenalin thrill" somewhat like you can experience skydiving, bungee jumping, or riding a roller coaster.

Unrestricted anger can result in a "rage" that can cause us to harm ourselves or people around us. I know you've heard of "road rage" and "acts of passion" that resulted in injury or death, sometimes to innocent parties.

Anger can also damage family relationships, social relationships and even cost you your job.

Popular approaches to anger include "taking a timeout" or "punching a pillow" to vent your anger. Some suggest that you "scream" or use exercise as a vent. People are taught conflict resolution, how to be assertive, and how to remove oneself from anger-inducing situations.

These ideas may be good and effective when a threat is immediate and immediate action is required because you need a quick distraction before some harm is done.

There is a far-more-common form of anger that occurs over and over again without any real-time provocation. Such anger is an emotional response to the memory or recollection of an offense suffered in the past - sometimes many years in the past. When these memories pop into your mind as thoughts; and we mentally chew or ruminate on them; it can become just like the original incident all over again.

But, it’s all triggered by memories or thoughts. It’s not happening all over again in most cases.

The solution to your anger is so simple that many people have trouble accepting it. The most effective way to control the negative thinking that results in recurring anger is "simply choose not to think about it."

When a negative thought that you know leads to anger pops into your mind, simply say to yourself out loud, “I will not think about that.” Do it again if the idea pops up again; “I will not think about that.”

Someone said, “That’s easier said than done.”

Not really. You have the inborn authority to decide what you want to think about. If a thought causes you anger, don’t think that thought. As you make that choice again and again, your subconscious remembers how you like to respond and will start to make your response automatically. It’s amazing how quickly this can happen.

Furthermore, you were made with a subconscious mind that has over time formed the opinion that you like being angry. So it tries to give you more opportunities, through selected thoughts, to be angry.

The process of choosing not to dwell on those thoughts will, over time, convince your subconscious that you do not want to think about that those things anymore. It’s this process that creates the habit of peace and breaks the habit of anger.

At some point, you won't even realize you are thinking the anger-provoking thoughts because your subconscious mind responds appropriately before they become conscious thoughts.

Nothing could be more effective than having your subconscious mind handle your anger for you before you even think about it. That is so cool!

Resources you can use

Help someone you love deal effectively with anger. Take 3 minutes to learn more at http://findingpersonalpeace.com/s001.

You can use this idea for just about any negative emotion or habit that bothers you including anger.

I hope Finding Personal Peace helps you as much as it helped me with my anger.

Rod Peeks

Thanks for reading our blog today. I invite you to respond in several ways: (1) Comment in the space below if you agree or disagree with what I've said. A dialogue could be interesting for all; (2) Share the post with your friends using the buttons below; and (3) sign up to get an email with each new post. There’s a place to do that on the right. Then you won’t have to remember to look for our subsequent posts. Thanks again!

Deal With Your Anger Simply and Effectively

Summary

Anger is destructive.  Your anger can kill you; not to mention destroy all your important relationships. You can deal with your anger in a way that is far more simple and far more effective than anything you've tried before.

Anger can hurt you physically as much as it can hurt you emotionally. Prolonged anger can cause dangerous increases in hormone levels, blood pressure, and it can cause damage to internal organs. Some studies indicate that anger can increase the likelihood of heart attacks and strokes.

Anger can become addictive in that it produces a sort of "adrenalin thrill" somewhat like you can experience skydiving, bungee jumping, or riding a roller coaster.

Unrestricted anger can result in a "rage" that can cause us to harm ourselves or people around us. I know you've heard of "road rage" and "acts of passion" that resulted in injury or death, sometimes to innocent parties.

Anger can also damage family relationships, social relationships and even cost you your job.

Popular approaches to anger include "taking a timeout" or "punching a pillow" to vent your anger. Some suggest that you "scream" or use exercise as a vent. People are taught conflict resolution, how to be assertive, and how to remove oneself from anger-inducing situations.

These ideas may be good and effective when a threat is immediate and action is required. There is a far-more-common form of anger that occurs over and over again without any real-time provocation. Such anger is an emotional response to the memory or recollection of an offense suffered in the past - sometimes many years in the past. When these memories pop into your mind as negative thoughts; and we mentally chew or ruminate on them; it can become just like the original incident all over again.

But, it’s all in your memory. It’s not happening all over again in most cases.

The solution is so simple that many people have trouble accepting it. The most effective way to control the negative thinking that results in recurring anger is "simply choose not to think about it." 

When a negative thought that you know leads to anger pops into your mind, simply say to yourself out loud, “I will not think about that.” Do it again if the idea pops up again.

Someone said, “That’s easier said than done.” Not really. You have the inborn authority to decide what you want to think about. If a thought causes you pain, you can choose not to think that thought.

As you make that choice again and again, your subconscious remembers how you like to respond and will start to make your response automatically. It’s amazing how quickly this can happen. At that point, you won't even realize you are thinking the anger-provoking thoughts. Before they become conscious thoughts, you handle them subconsciously.

Nothing could be more effective than having your subconscious mind control your negative thinking for you before you even think about it.

Resources you can use 

If you could deal with anger simply and effectively, would you take 3 minutes to learn more?

Check it out - http://findingpersonalpeace.com/r001

You can use this idea for just about any negative emotion or habit that bothers you. I hope Finding Personal Peace helps you as much as it helped me with my anger problem.

 

Are You Addicted? Are You Sure?

I asked the second question in the title because I had always thought of addictions in the very narrow scope of drugs, alcohol, or the like which could radically impair or kill me. My reading tells me that I am addicted because I have other actions that I do almost compulsively to avoid pain or to restore happiness.

Most contemporary resources like psychologytoday.com define addiction thusly: “Addiction is a condition that results when a person ingests a substance (alcohol, cocaine, nicotine) or engages in an activity (gambling) that can be pleasurable but the continued use of which becomes compulsive and interferes with ordinary life responsibilities. That definition takes the responsibility for addiction away from the individual and puts it on the drug or the pleasurable activity that ensnares us so readily. True, we must first make the decision to try the substance or activity. But its the drug or activity that addicts us.

Why do we seek these pleasurable things?

Ex-addict, William, in his blog, says, “At the root of all addiction is pain.” He goes on, “It is humans who get addicted out of fear of the darkness within, and not drugs that are addictive.”

Dr. Richard Carlson says in “You Can Be Happy, No Matter What” that “a habit is a thought that you have accepted as truth.”

He goes on to say that “Happiness is a positive feeling that exists inside you.” When we lose touch with that positive feeling, we knowingly or unknowingly attempt to get it back. “When you don’t understand the dynamics of your own mind, you innocently attempt to get your positive feeling back through outside sources – which can be the beginning of bad habits.” Carlson uses the words “addictions” and “habits” interchangeably.

When we accept our thoughts as truth and our thoughts are negative, then the truth can become something very frightening or dark as William described it in his blog.

Carlson says, “Some popular substitutes for a contented state of mind are alcohol, drugs, cigarettes, food, exercise, gambling, sex, and work. A few of the more subtle forms include arguing, proving yourself, and seeking approval.”

So by this very-common-sense definition of addiction, it becomes apparent that many of us have allowed ourselves to become addicts to something in an attempt to restore happiness. In my case, I am addicted to fast food and work.

For your convenience, I've published a partial list of addictions whereby you can decide for yourself if some of your “habits” might in fact be addictions. Click here for the list. Oh, after reviewing the list, I'll have to add chocolate as one of my addictions.

It appears that when we lose our feelings of happiness, which typically happens when we allow ourselves to ruminate more and more on negative things, we begin to search for things to restore that lost happiness or to block the fear or loss. The things that make us feel happy, even for a short period of time, are the things we tend to do again and again until the quest for happiness becomes a habit or addiction.

Some of these habits are simply annoying. Others are disruptive of a productive lifestyle. Others are destructive to ourselves or others; and others have the capacity to become criminal.

Think about this. Instead of masking the unhappiness with a substitute substance or activity, wouldn’t it be better if we could stop the negative thinking that is stealing our unhappiness? Or wouldn't it be nice to deal with the thoughts of the pleasure that precede the addictive act before it's repeated?

That's exactly what we show you how to do in “Finding Personal Peace.” We show you how to restore “peace” or “happiness” by appropriately handing the negative thinking that destroys your happiness.

Did you find yourself on the list? Are there habits/addictions from which you would like to be free? That's entirely possible for you. Take a look at Finding Personal Peace.

God bless,

Are You Angry?

Everybody has to deal with anger from time to time. But what's the best way to handle it? To answer that question, we must first understand what anger really is. Anger is an emotion often characterized by feelings of great displeasure, indignation, hostility, wrath and vengeance. Many times, reacting in anger is how we express our dissatisfaction with life. It’s defined in the Greek language as the strongest of all passions. Anger begins with a feeling that’s often expressed in words or actions. We feel something and it causes a reaction.

Ruminating, or dwelling, on your anger isn't actually helpful. Studies show that, among other things, those who have a tendency to ruminate over situations that have made them angry in their past tend to experience higher blood pressure as a result, putting them at greater risk for organ damage and associated health problems. Trying to solve a problem is a good idea, but stewing in your anger is not.

We're always encouraged to talk through our anger. Discussing your anger is a tricky thing. Talking about your anger with a trusted friend can be an effective strategy for dealing with anger -- to a point. It can help you better understand your feelings, brainstorm problem-solving strategies, and strengthen your relationship.

But there's also evidence that repeatedly discussing your anger with your friends can actually make you both feel worse, and increase stress hormones in your blood for both of you. Most of us have been involved in conversations that are basically complaint sessions or downward spirals of negative emotion. We can show you a more effective way.

Anger can make you sick

Like poorly managed stress, anger that isn’t handled in a healthy way can be not only uncomfortable, but even damaging to one's health and personal life.

One study looked at anger problems in husbands and wives. There is evidence that anger problems and depressive symptoms have been linked to all major causes of death, but found that wives specifically found a greater association between anger and symptoms of depression, while men tended to instead experience an association between anger and health problems.

According to another study, those who had less control over their anger tended to heal more slowly from wounds.

Yet another study showed that men with higher rates of hostility not only had poorer pulmonary functioning (breathing problems), but experienced higher rates of decline as they aged.

We don't have room here to mention the social implications of anger: broken relationships, transferring anger to spouse, children and friends; spontaneous acts that can lead to hurting someone and maybe criminal behavior, and much more.

Because poorly managed anger presents such a significant problem in so many areas of life, it's important to take steps toward learning an effective way of dealing with anger.

Every angry episode begins with a single negative thought. ‘Finding Personal Peace’ shows you how to effectively deal with angry thoughts before they escalate to a more painful level.

You really can find personal peace starting today.

God bless,



P.S. Click here to begin your quest to defeat anger in your life.
P.P.S. BTW, you know you can share these posts, don’t you? Even through Facebook and Twitter. Please feel free to share.

Are You Depressed?

According to the Surgeon General, depression is the number three health problem in America. Yet many of us simply don't realize or admit that we are depressed.

Depression may be described as feeling sad, blue, unhappy, miserable, or down in the dumps. Most of us feel this way at one time or another for short periods.

More than just a bout of the blues, depression isn't a weakness, nor is it something that you can simply "snap out" of. Dr. Richard Carlson says, “You can't think yourself out of depression.”

Depression is usually treated with antidepressant medications and short-term, goal-oriented psychotherapy.

Not only are women more prone to depression than men, but the causes of female depression and even the pattern of symptoms are often different.

Men also suffer from depression but are often less willing to admit it and seek help because they consider depression a “female” disease.

Teens may show their pervasive sadness by wearing black clothes, writing poetry with morbid themes, or having a preoccupation with music that has nihilistic themes. They may cry for no apparent reason. Children and teens that cause trouble at home or at school may actually be depressed but not know it. Because the child may not always seem sad, parents and teachers may not realize that the behavior problem is a sign of depression.

Some depression is based on chemical imbalances in our bodies and this depression can be treated medically.

Another and perhaps more common form of depression involves the numbing of emotions, especially grief, fear, anger and shame. Depression occurs when these emotions loop back on themselves, having bad feelings about bad feelings, sometimes without limit.

When we dwell on painful experiences again and again, the “looping-back” effect takes place again and again.

Finding Personal Peace shows us how to avoid the looping effect; how to break the cycle of negative thinking building on previous negative thinking.

This can be the ideal solution for people who hate taking medications and for people, particularly men, who don't want to admit depression, but nevertheless experience the symptoms of negative emotions.

Hope this helps!



P.S. Find out about relieving depression by clicking here.

Victims of Abuse

Abuse is approaching epidemic proportions today. We'll mention three common forms of abuse: domestic abuse; child sexual abuse; and bullying. There are others but space is limited.

Domestic violence and emotional abuse are behaviors used by one person in a relationship to control the other. Partners may be married or not married; heterosexual, gay, or lesbian; living together, separated or dating.

Examples of abuse include:

• name-calling or put downs


• keeping a partner from contacting their family or friends


• withholding money


• stopping a partner from getting or keeping a job


• actual or threatened physical harm


• sexual assault


• stalking


• intimidation

Violence can be criminal and includes physical assault (hitting, pushing, shoving, etc.), sexual abuse (unwanted or forced sexual activity), and stalking. Although emotional, psychological and financial abuse are not criminal behaviors, they are forms of abuse and can lead to criminal violence.

Child sexual abuse is a form of child abuse in which a child is abused for the sexual gratification of an adult or older adolescent. In addition to direct sexual contact, child sexual abuse also occurs when an adult indecently exposes their genitalia to a child, asks or pressures a child to engage in sexual activities, displays pornography to a child, or uses a child to produce child pornography.

Effects of child sexual abuse include guilt and self-blame, flashbacks, nightmares, insomnia, fear of things associated with the abuse (including objects, smells, places, doctor's visits, etc.), self-esteem issues, sexual dysfunction, chronic pain, addiction, self-injury, suicidal ideation, somatic complaints, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, other mental illnesses (including borderline personality disorder) propensity to re-victimization in adulthood, and physical injury to the child, among other problems. Victims of child sex abuse are over six times more likely to attempt suicide and eight times more likely to repeatedly attempt suicide. The abusers are also more likely to commit suicide. Much of the harm caused to victims becomes apparent years after the abuse happens.

Sexual abuse by a family member is a form of incest, and results in more serious and long-term psychological trauma, especially in the case of parental incest.

Bullying is a form of abuse. It involves repeated acts over time attempting to create or enforce one person's (or group's) power over another person (or group), thus an "imbalance of power". The "imbalance of power" may be social power and/or physical power. The victim of bullying is sometimes referred to as a target. Bullying types of behavior are often rooted in a would-be bully's inability to empathize with those whom he or she would target.

In all cases of ongoing abuse of any form, the primary objective is to get help. We've compiled a listing of resources available by telephone or on-line that victims can use. These resources are respect your privacy and are equipped and trained to guide the victim to safety. Click here to see the list of resources.

The context of our mission is to provide relief for people who are suffering from abuse from the past. Prior abuse exists primarily in the memories of the victims. Yet when the victim replays those memory, which is often done, it can be as traumatic as experiencing the abuse again.

But it's not happening again. The pain is a response to the thought about the abuse. Any form of pain that results from a thought can be alleviated greatly if one knows what to do about the thought.

That's what Finding Personal Peace is good at doing – helping one learn how to deal with negative thoughts before the pain is re-created and very often enhanced.

If you're a victim of abuse or you know a victim of abuse, consider Finding Personal Peace as a viable tool. We WILL NOT MAKE YOU RELIVE THE PAIN!!!

God bless,



P.S. Click here for more information about Finding Personal Peace.