Relationships - COP AN ATTITUDE!

Cop a Bad Attitude;
Lose a Relationship 

Your attitude toward your relationship is far more important that you may think. 

If you value a relationship; if there is love; if there is the joy of good fellowship; if there is any affection or compassion toward another person, I encourage you to cop an attitude.

Let me explain myself 

I've gotten some funny looks at times when I've tried to encourage someone, especially a young person, by telling them I like their attitude.

In street vernacular, to cop an attitude means to “take a negative or opposite attitude about something.” It’s also known as “tude.” I would certainly never suggest that I like a negative attitude that I see in someone.

An attitude is “a predisposition or a tendency to respond positively or negatively towards a certain idea, object, person, or situation. Attitude influences an individual's choice of action, and responses to challenges, incentives, and rewards (together called stimuli).”

So when I tell someone I like their attitude, I’m saying I like the way the present themselves or respond to the situations around them.

The origin of the word "cop" as used here is a slang term used to mean "pick, to take hold of, to catch." So, in the sense I use “to Cop an Attitude” I saying you need to take hold of or to catch a predisposition to respond positively toward your relationship.

 So what attitudes should you cop if you want a healthy relationship?

• You can show love toward the relationship
• You can be united in spirit with your partner
• You can be intent on shared purposes
• You can show humility.
• You can avoid promoting yourself ahead of your partner
• You can be unselfish
• You can regard your partner as more important than yourself
• You can look out for your spouse’s, child’s, friend’s interests before your own
• You can speak the truth judiciously
• You can respect the space of your partner
• You can encourage and lift up at every opportunity
• You can be quick to forgive and diligent to forget offenses

Do you have a problem here? 

Do any of these attitudes that I say you should “cop” give you a little heartburn?

Do you find yourself thinking “I can’t do that” or “That’s not fair?” Before you walk away from a casual relationship or create a lot of stress in a permanent relationship (like marriage and parenthood), I encourage you to examine your thinking about why you resist copping one of these attitudes.

Have your brought some baggage into the relationship from your past experiences that is making things difficult in this relationship? You can get rid of that baggage?

Are you judging your relationship partner based on criteria formed in earlier situations? You can dump those criteria.

Are you expecting your relationship partner to conform to a pattern from your past that may be based on faulty suppositions? You can break that pattern.

Do you find yourself copping a negative attitude in your relationship in response to hurts from the past? You can soften or remove that pain.

Finding Personal Peace will show you how to get rid of the baggage, dump the criteria, break the patterns, or deal with the pain that is causing you trouble in relationships today.

Check it out.
 
www.findingpersonalpeace.com

P.S. If you’re wondering where I got this list of attitudes you need to cop; I got them from the Bible in Philippians 2:1-5.

Thanks for reading our blog today. I invite you to respond in several ways: (1) Comment in the space below if you agree or disagree with what I've said. A dialogue could be interesting for all; (2) Share the post with your friends using the buttons below; and (3) sign up to get an email with each new post. There’s a place to do that on the right. Then you won’t have to remember to look for our subsequent posts. Thanks again!

Relationships - Who's Pulling the Rope?

There’s always a rope. Are you the one pulling up or dragging down?

Which way are you pulling?

In relationships people are connected. You can imagine that each of you is holding onto a rope. The rope is seldom still because you and your partner are different people; each with different needs, aspirations, and emotions often pulling in different directions.

What you should want is that the relationship be always trending upward by one or both of you – usually alternating - keeping upward direction on the rope. When one is dragging down, the other is pulling up. Then the situation may be reversed.

Relationships are strained

Relationships are strained if one of you is dragging the other down. If this goes on long enough, one of the partners may be hurt. If the hurt continues long enough, the relationship may be damaged or broken.

You should already have figured out that there is very little to do to change your partner. What you can do is to make sure that you’re not the one dragging the relationship down. The rest of this post is looking at you and how you respond when you’re down.

Different responses

A typical response, maybe without much thought, is to pull your partner down to your level. There’s some weird concept of misery loving company. So you keep pulling on your end of the rope until your partner is sharing your emotional level.

Maybe you’re too stubborn to admit that your partner is right.

Maybe you’re too proud to admit that you need to be helped; that you don’t have the situation under control.

Maybe your snap judgment is to let go of the rope. That removes part of the pressure on you - the good part.

Sometimes you resist all the harder. Maybe you’re blaming your partner for how you feel; maybe you’re bearing a grudge toward your partner; or resentment; or envy; or revenge.

Or maybe it’s something totally unrelated to your partner; work, extended family, some threat toward you.

Whatever is roiling through your mind, give value to the fact that your partner is still holding the rope and trying to pull you back up out of the emotional mess you’re in.

Sometimes we pretend that nothing is wrong and keep living life as it is.

All these attempts to drag your partner down will eventually damage or destroy the relationship.

A matter of trust

Why don’t you just trust your partner? They’re trying to lift you up. They’re trying to give you hope and encouragement. Trust them to know what they’re doing.

Relax. Even if you don’t know what to do, let them gently and lovingly draw you up to higher ground. If you keep struggling, you’re creating pressure on both of you.

It’s just a matter of time until the situation is reversed and you’re the one gently, lovingly lifting your partner back up.

Don’t give up on the relationship; but make doubly sure that you’re not the one who is always the dead weight.

If you are, you can do something about that. You don’t have to accept the negative thinking that typically sends you into the emotional pit.

Do your partner and your relationship a great favor by learning how to deal with all your negative thinking and negative emotions. That’s what Finding Personal Peace is all about.

God bless,



www.findingpersonalpeace.com

Thanks for reading our blog today. I invite you to respond in several ways: (1) Comment in the space below if you agree or disagree with what I've said. A dialogue could be interesting for all; (2) Share the post with your friends. There are buttons below for Facebook, Twitter, and other social media sites; and (3) sign up for an email with each new post. There’s a place to do that on the right. Then you won’t have to remember to look for subsequent posts. Thanks again!